Then he’d removed the blindfold and she’d stared at her white stallion, completely mute. When she’d found her voice, it was to whisper, ‘What? How?’
‘I had him brought here for you.’
‘Oh, I love you,’ she’d blurted out, throwing her arms around Moonbeam’s neck, when she’d noticed the frown on Zach’s face. She’d repeated the words over and over as if she’d been talking to the horse all along, but of course she hadn’t, and it had nearly been one of the most singularly embarrassing moments of her life.
Even so, she’d ached to have Zach take her in his arms, but he’d become even more remote and told her he’d leave her and Moonbeam to get reacquainted.
It had been like that a lot lately—Zach leaving her alone to do her work while he took meetings. Zach leaving her alone to have breakfast while he pounded out a circuit on his treadmill. Zach coming to bed late and then hardly touching her...
Farah felt a lump form in her throat. She knew he was busy and she had no wish to change that but what she’d love to change was the way he seemed to hold part of himself back from her. It was as if he was already regretting their marriage, and she couldn’t help but wonder if their trip to Ibiza hadn’t triggered a realisation in him that he had been seriously short-changed in being forced to marry her.
Oh, he had tried to reassure her that that wasn’t the case, but what else could he have said? That, yes, he did regret it and would now risk inciting a war for his own selfish ends?
Once she would have believed him capable of such a thing. She knew that was no longer true. She knew that honour and integrity was the most important thing to him. As it was to her.
But at the expense of his happiness? Of her own?
With her head aching, she positioned Moonbeam’s chaff bucket and leant her forehead against his shoulder as he ate. Lost as she was in thought, she didn’t immediately hear anyone come up behind her.
‘Farah?’
Whirling around at the sound of her name, she stared dumbfounded as Amir stood in the doorway to Moonbeam’s stall with one of her private security detail as escort.
‘Amir!’
‘I hope this is not an intrusion, Your Highness,’ her guard said. ‘The palace staff said you were here and Mr Dawad was very insistent.’
‘It’s fine. Thank you.’
Bowing low, the guard left, and Farah stared at Amir, only then realising how much she really missed being around the familiar faces of her village.
‘Is it my father? Has something happened?’
Amir walked towards her. ‘No, he’s good, although he is concerned about you. I think he regrets pushing you into this marriage.’
‘Oh.’ He and her both, she thought tiredly.
‘He would like to know if you are happy. As we all would.’
‘Amir...’
‘Before you say anything, I would also like to apologise for my behaviour prior to all this blowing up. I was pushing you because I’m in love with you but that was wrong.’
Farah let out a slow breath. ‘Oh, Amir, I... I didn’t realise.’ She had assumed he had only been trying to cement his place as the future leader of Al-Hajjar.
He gave her a faint smile. ‘I know. So are you happy, Farah? Because if you’re not I could take you away from all this.’
Farah closed her eyes against his words. She longed to be able to tell him outright that she was not only happy but positively joyous, that she had never been happier, but she wasn’t and she had never been able to lie. And his declaration of love made her feel truly awful. It struck deep in her heart because she knew how unrequited love felt and it was debilitating. Every bit as debilitating as she had known love would be and there was no satisfaction in being proved correct.
‘I’m not unhappy,’ she hedged. Not a lie exactly. It wasn’t unhappiness she felt, just a bone-deep sadness that Zach would never return her feelings.
‘That’s not good enough, Farah. That’s a cop-out.’
He reached for her hands but before he could touch her a furious voice made them both jump.
‘Who the hell let you inside the palace?’
Jumping almost sky high, Farah turned to face her husband.
‘Greetings, Your Highness.’
She threw Amir a dark look to let him know that she did not appreciate his silky tone. ‘Zach, Amir was—’
Zach shook his head at her. ‘I’m asking him, not you.’
Brought up short by the reprimand, Farah blinked.