“Christian,” Hayley chastised him. “Stop.”
My uniform was on fully now. My shoes were untied, but that didn’t really matter. I gathered my blonde hair to one side of my neck and slowly turned around to face Christian and Hayley. She was angled toward him, half in between us, with her arms crossed over her blouse. Her big round eyes were raised high, a warning look flashing. Christian was glaring at me with his smoldering look, hating me just as everyone else did.
“He’s right,” I said, almost whispering.
I must have caught Christian off guard, and honestly, in the few years that he and I had dated back and forth, I’d never ever evoked a single emotion from him. We were superficial, using each other as a distraction. Curving our boredom.
He was hot, I’d give him that, but I knew nothing about him. And he knew nothing about me.
“What do you mean, I’m right?” Christian strode over to Hayley and stood with his hands on his hips, pulling back his navy English Prep blazer some.
I eyed Hayley, and she was watching me with patient, doe-like eyes. Usually, she and I glared at each other or ignored one another completely, but it felt like she was looking right through my wall. She knew what struggle looked like, even if disguised. She knew I was fucked up.
“You’re right,” I repeated with more confidence. “I do deserve it.” I grabbed my backpack and flung it over my shoulder. I whisked past the two of them quickly, making it out the door before I hyperventilated. I rushed to the end of the hall and pressed my back along the metal lockers to get my breathing intact. These moments of weakness were no longer few and far between. They were coming more frequently and lasting much longer than they should have.
I pulled my phone out and shot a quick text to Atticus, asking him to meet up again for more Ambien. I needed to sleep. I needed to heal. I needed to hold myself together until college.
Then I could breathe.
Then I wouldn’t have to lock my door.
And I wouldn’t have to fear my father’s car in the driveway.
Just as I shoved my phone back in my pocket, I heard familiar voices coming down the hallway. I rushed to the bathrooms just past the locker room and pressed my back into the corner so I’d be temporarily hidden.
Ollie’s laugh boomed and echoed along the lockers, and even though it was faint, I could tell Eric was chuckling beside him.
I took a teeny, tiny peek around the corner, catching a fleeting glimpse of him. A warmness coated my belly, and a faint, content smile ghosted over my lips. Eric was grinning at Ollie and Piper, happiness evident in his dark eyes. It was rare to see him happy. Whenever he was around me or glanced in my direction, his cheery attitude would fall, and he’d turn that cheeky grin into a malicious scowl.
I quickly pulled myself back, tucking away that rare visual of a happy Eric into my back pocket for later, and continued to listen.
God. How the tables had turned for me. Here I was, on the other end of the English Prep popularity stick, hiding away and lurking in corners to hear what the cool kids had to say.
So pathetic. Yet, I couldn’t seem to stop.
I nibbled on my lip, straining my ears.
“That was fucking weird.”
“What was?” Piper asked, talking to Christian.
He and Hayley must have come out of the locker room when I was in my Eric trance.
“Madeline…in the locker room.”
Hayley huffed. “I told you to stop being a jerk. Something is totally off with her. She hasn’t said a snide remark to me in weeks. Not even a dirty look. Has she to you, Pipe?”
Piper spoke. “Actually…no. I noticed something off with her at the dress shop a few weeks ago. Do you remember how she looked like she wanted to tell us something, Hay? Then she clammed up at the end?”
“Yeah. I know something is wrong with her. Something bad. I can see it.”
“Who cares?” Christian said. Their voices were getting farther and farther away, and I had to force myself to stay hidden against the wall instead of following them around. I wanted to hear what Eric had to say, even though it would likely hurt me.
Apparently, I liked the feeling of a knife twisting my insides.
“What happened in the locker room?” My heart sparked at the sound of his voice. My stomach dipped.
“She pretty much said she deserved the bullying when I threw an asshole remark at her.” He paused. “Surprised the shit out of me. I never thought I’d see a day where Madeline actually looked remorseful. Sad, even.”