No. Not Finn. Not Salvatore. Oh God, I can’t take this. I can’t even think.
The tears rolled down her cheeks and his hands caressed her arms. She didn’t flinch or tighten up again. She began to absorb his touch. It felt good. He was gentle. He was big, strong, protective, and she felt herself loosen up. Her breathing began to calm but her heart still raced. She knew he would never hurt her, despite his tough, hard, serious demeanor or his reputation as an investigator for the state police. He and Salvatore were quite the law men.
“Is she okay?”
She heard Salvatore’s voice and then wiped her eyes.
“Fine,” she said. Her voice cracked.
Finn caressed her back. “Take your time,” he whispered slowly, releasing his hold around her waist. She felt the loss then wanted to kick herself for reading into his care and compassion. He was a public servant. She was a needy citizen on the verge of a panic attack and he assisted as any good civil servant would do.
She lowered her eyes, felt foolish for being weak and immature.
“I’m okay. You don’t need to be here. Really,” she said.
Finn turned her around. He had his hand on her waist. He was so big, so tall and handsome. She was so petite compared to him. To Salvatore, too.
He cupped her cheek and used his thumb to wipe away the stray tears.
“We’re here for you. Don’t push us away.”
“You should be out there at the party.”
“No, we should be here for you. It’s only been a couple of weeks. You’re pushing yourself too much,” Salvatore said to her.
Finn gave him a firm expression.
“Enough, Salvatore.”
He looked back at her. “What brought this one on?” he asked, like he did the last several times he was around when this happened.
“It was nothing. It’s me. I can’t shake the fear. Everything scares me. I should have stayed home. I shouldn’t be here ruining your good time, or Eliza’s,” she said and felt the tears fill her eyes.
Finn pulled her against his chest and hugged her. His chest felt so good, so hard and muscular. She inhaled his cologne and clenched her fingers against the material of his shirt. She loved how he smelled, and how Salvatore shared the same cologne, too.
He caressed her back and then she felt Salvatore’s fingers against her cheek and then her chin. She pulled back and looked way up at him. His dark brown eyes held hers. “We’ll protect you. We’re here for you always,” he whispered and then pressed a kiss to her forehead. She closed her eyes and felt a second of calmness, of peace but then it quickly disappeared. Her mind destroyed the ideas of happiness and filled it with negative thoughts.
They are here because they feel compelled to watch over me because of what they witnessed. There are no true feelings here, just guilt for being investigators on the hunt and almost failing to get to me in time.
She pulled back and fixed her skirt. She took a deep breath and both men squinted at her, seemingly feeling her push them away as they released her and stepped back.
“Better?” Salvatore asked.
She nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“Shhh. Never. Never be sorry. It isn’t your fault,” Finn told her firmly.
She turned around and turned on the faucet. Both men walked out of the bathroom. The moment they did that fearful, scared sensation began to smolder from deep within. She was losing it. She was becoming dependent on them, and on their abilities to calm her and make her feel safe. She had to do something about this. She couldn’t read into their actions as anything other than what they were, ways to eliminate their guilt for nearly failing her.
That was silly, though. They didn’t know her. Not really. The only reason they met was because of the case and when they were at Luther’s she looked over the surveillance video and pointed out Si and his buddies to Finn and Salvatore. They assisted the Hayes brothers in an attempt to find Eliza Grace, not her. There was no reason for them to feel guilty.
She finished in the bathroom and then took a deep breath. She needed to put on a happy face. She could get through the next two hours but then she would face the hours alone in her apartment. She sighed. Something had to give. She had to get through this. She just had to.
* * * *
“I wish there was more we could do for her. She’s suffering and scared, and I can’t stop worrying,” Salvatore whispered to Finn.
“Dude, I know, and it’s driving me insane. I can’t stand to look into those baby blues and see that fear and distrust.”