“All right. He’s usually out by now, when the camper stops. He must be nervous.” She went to the back to the camper and tried the door. It was locked. “He’s ever done that before. I guess he forgot. Your dad, he forgets a lot of the time. And he’s in a great deal of pain. Let me just get the keys.”
The keys were in the truck and she got them. Her hands were shaking so badly that she wasn’t sure that she could open the door. When she finally got it open, still babbling to Rogen, Lisha went in first. She found Jimmy still sleeping. Lisha told Rogen that he was still in bed, that it wouldn’t be a moment.
She saw the letter on the table that was addressed to Rogen. There was also one for her on the microwave. That scared her more than anything. Jimmy had written to her as well. Hurrying to the bed where he was, she shook him several times before she realized that he was dead. Jimmy had died.
Screaming out her pain, because she was in so much of it, she called for Rogen. Her daughter was gone, and Lisha knew that she wasn’t going to be with her right now. But her husband came in and asked her to move back. A doctor, Lisha remembered. Rogen was married to a doctor.
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Hall.”
It was all she had to hear to know that her life partner, her best friend and lover, was really gone. In that second, Lisha blacked out. Jimmy was gone, and she didn’t want to live any longer.
When she woke up, she was in a lovely bedroom with a quilt laying over her. There was someone in the room with her, an older woman that was working on the newspaper. Lisha asked her where she was.
“Rogen had you put in here to rest. Thatcher, my son, he’s working on getting things squared away with Jimmy. Do you need anything? A drink of something?” She said that she didn’t drink anymore. That it was one of the things that had hurt her family. “Yes, well, you have that about right. Would you like some water then?”
“No. My husband is gone.” The woman said she knew that. “I don’t know what I’m going to do now. He was all I had in the world.”
“Really? Then why for pity’s sake did you travel all the way across the United States to see the daughter and son you have?” She didn’t care for the woman’s tone and told her so. “I don’t really care what you care about, Ms. Hall. You’ve done those children of yours a big disservice being like you were. They’re good kids, and I love them like they’re my own. Someone should have beaten you more as a child. Perhaps then you would have—”
“That’s enough, Maggie.” They both turned to the doorway where Rogen was standing. “Thank you for defending Jamie and me, but I’ll take it from here. Would you please tell Mrs. B that we’ll be one more for dinner?”
“Yes, of course.” The woman kissed Rogen on the cheek and then hugged her. “Thatcher is going into town for a bit. When he gets back, we’ll have dinner, all right?”
“Yes, thank you. For everything.”
Before the door shut on the woman, Jamie made his way into the room with them. He didn’t look happy, nor did he look like the child she’d hurt. Lisha asked him if he’d sit with her and Rogen.
“For Rogen, not you.” Nodding, she watched as they sat side by side and held hands. They’d always been close, the two of them, and she envied that. “I have a good job. And my own money. But you’re not getting any of it. Nothing from me.”
“I didn’t want anything from you. I promise. I only wanted to come and tell you how sorry I am for being such a shitty person and parent.” Rogen said nothing, but Jamie glared at her. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to believe me. In fact, I don’t think I’d believe me either if I was in your shoes.”
“Dad left you a letter, as well as one for me.” She asked if she’d read it. “No, neither of them. One is addressed to you, and I’m not sure I want to know what he said to me as he was coming here.”
“Again, I don’t blame you. Your dad, he was so happy when we figured out where you lived. And scared. We didn’t know if you’d want to see us or not.” Rogen and Jamie both said that they didn’t. “Yes. I guess, as I said, I’d not want to see me either. But we came here to tell you how sorry we were. That’s not how it started out. We were going to come here and ask you for money. But we have some now.”
“The bank robbery.” Lisha asked her how she knew about that. “It’s my job to know all about people that do shitty things. Why didn’t you turn it in?”
“It was all we had after our home was taken from us. We stole the truck as well as the camper, yes. And found the money too. When we talked about it, coming to see you, each mile we covered together, we talked about how terrible we were. Your dad, he cried a great deal. He was so hurt.” Rogen said they’d done nothing to them. “No, you’re right, you didn’t do anything, and you could have, I guess. No, he was crying because every day we’d think of something else that we’d done to the two of you. How we had treated you and what we’d done to Jamie. We were heartbroken at what kind of people we were. And we know that it was entirely our fault. We shouldn’t have had children at all, not with the type of people we were. But we did have children, two of the best. Neither one of us realized it until it was too late. Because in every way possible, we hurt you and then shoved you out of our lives like you were no one to us.”
Jamie left them then. Lisha didn’t want him to, but she had no right to beg him to stay either. She looked at Rogen. Such a beautiful woman. Her heart was hardened, and she’d done that to her too. Looking around the room, she said it was a lovely home.
“It is. And if you think that I married Thatcher for it, then you’d be wrong. I love him with all my heart. And we plan on having children together. Ones that we’ll love and hold dearly to us.” Lisha nodded and bowed her head. Her own heart was shattering bit by bit.
When Rogen got up to pace, she didn’t watch her. She had not only lost her husband today, but all her family. It was wrong to come here, she thought. No matter how they wanted to make amends, they should have gone on.
“I’m being especially cruel. I’m sorry.” Lisha didn’t know what to say, so didn’t say anything. “You came here to unburden yourself, and I have no right to take that from you. I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Rogen. I know now that we shouldn’t have come here. We should have just…. Well, we should have done a lot of things and we didn’t. And now that your father is gone….” Her heart hurt for losing him. “I don’t even know why we bothered, honestly. Or what we expected.”
“You expected something that I don’t have to give you. Forgiveness. Perhaps I can give you that, but I’m sorry, there isn’t any love in my heart for you. For either of you.” Lisha thanked her. “I don’t know you, nor do you know Jamie and myself. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have come here. You...I’m not sure what you should have done. I’m as confused and heartbroken as you are.”
“Jimmy and I, we...we were terrible people. Not just as parents, though that was bad enough, but with people in general. And pigs. The clean camper has been such a joy to us—we never realized how nasty our house had become.” Rogen looked out the window as Lisha sat up and on the side of the bed. “We didn’t rob that bank that we found the money from. And I’ll return the rest of it. We really didn’t use all that much of it. Perhaps ten grand, your dad told me last night.”
She thought about the conversation they’d had last night—their last conversation, as it turned out. He’d told her that they’d give the money to the police and then tell them that they’d pay back what they’d spent. She had no idea what she was going to do now, without any money or Jimmy, but she’d do something.
“The money is yours.” She asked Rogen what she’d said. “The camper too, along with the truck. I’ve taken care that no one will come looking for you about it, and you’ll have a title to both as well. You can sell them if you wish or live in it. It belongs to you.”
“How did you...? I don’t want you to get into trouble over this.” Rogen told her that she wouldn’t. She had strings she could pull. “I don’t know what to say. Thank you seems so— We’ve been looking over our shoulder since we left home. Thank you.”