I closed my eyes and sighed.
“Oooh,” Sophia said. “And who do we have here?”
“If you ignore them,” I told her, “they don’t exist.”
She looked at me strangely.
I looked at her even more strangely.
“I’m Sanford,” Sandy said. “Best bud. We drink broskis together. My favorite president is Theodore Broosevelt.”
“Oh my God,” I moaned, putting my face in my hands.
“Corey,” the other idiot said, hat cocked on his head at a ridiculous angle. “My friends call me C-Rock. Paul and I go way back. We met playing frolf. Legit.”
“Ooo… kay,” Sophia said. “What’s frolf?”
“Frisbee golf. It’s how we do. It is how we do.”
“Okay, then,” Sophia said, the smile on her face a little dimmed. “Paul. Sanford. And… C-Rock.”
“No,” Sandy said. “Changed my mind. I also have a bro name.”
“Whyyyyy,” I said, staring up at the sky in anger.
“It’s S-Word,” Sandy said rather gleefully.
“S-Word?” Sophia frowned.
“Say it all together slowly. It has a double meaning.”
“S… wooord. Swoooord. Oh! Sword. I get it!”
“Damn right,” Sandy said. “Double named because I’m double-edged.”
“Sophia, can you give me a moment with my… these people?” I asked, smiling sweetly at her.
“Oh, of course! I’ll just go wait near the entrance to the Rio Salado Ballroom. It’s the double doors at the end of the hall. Let me know when you’re ready!”
And she had a peppy skip in her step as she walked away.
“Thank you, Sophia!” I called after her. “You’re a peach, a lifesaving peach, and I would just—okay, what the fuck are you two doing?”
“We’re bros,” Sandy said as if I was stupid.
“Super Mario Bros, even,” Corey said.
They high-fived without looking away from me.
It was rather creepy.
And annoying.
“You do not get to mess this up for me,” I snapped at them. “I mean it. One thing goes wrong, and I will take it out on your hides later, you get me?”
“Bro,” Sandy said. “You need to chillax. Who you think you talkin’ to?”
“Yeah,” Corey echoed. “You talkin’ to us. Chillax.”