Me: Darren
Me: DARREN
Darren: What!!!
Me: Hi =D
Darren: Hi
Me: What are you doing?
Darren: I’m at work. Like you should be
Me: Oh. I’m at work too. Bored :/
Darren: And you thought you would bug me
Me: Rude. I don’t bug. I bless with my presence. Get it right
Darren: Right. Sorry. Thank you for blessing me with your presence
Me: Was that sarcastic? I can’t tell through text
Darren: No
Me: Good
Darren: OR WAS IT
Me: —-^—-o/——
Darren: What the hell is that?
Me: A shark coming to eat you while you’re swimming for being text sarcastic
Darren: You know, it’s my fault for even asking
Me: I’m glad you understand that already. It’ll make things easier
Darren: What things?
Me: Nm. Anyway. I have news!
Darren: I am quivering in anticipation
Me: Gross. That sounds like a serious medical condition
Darren: I don’t have a serious medical condition!
Me: But you’re QUIVERING
Me: That sounds serious
Me: Are you sweating too?
Me: Blurry vision?
Me: Explosive bowel movements?