“You mean to Creed, don’t you?” he says almost inaudibly.
I nod. “Yes. That’s exactly who I mean. We’re going to be there in, like, two minutes, and I need you to promise me that you’ll let me figure this one out on my own. You need to keep your mouth shut about this for now.”
“Why don’t you just tell him?” the Kid asks. “If he’s really your friend he won’t—”
“Ty!” I almost shout. It’s the closest I’ve gotten to yelling at him in the longest time, and I don’t miss the way he shrinks away from me. I feel bad, but I can’t help it. The storm is near, and the waves are crashing, and we are pulling onto their fucking street, and I need to have this validation. I need to know that this can stay a secret at least until I figure out what to do. I think back and see me wanting to tell Creed everything when I spoke to him last night. I don’t recognize that person. That person is crazy, that person is insane, that person is wrong. It can’t happen now, and if I can’t get this promise from him I am going to keep driving past their house and go home and close the door and curl up under my covers and wait until everything in the whole goddamn world starts to make a fucking modicum of sense.
“You’ve always told me to tell the truth, no matter what,” he says, and I instantly hate my fortune-cookie advice. “So if I’m going to do this for you, you have to promise me something.”
“Anything!” I say, panicking as their house comes into view.
He takes a deep breath and says, “You have to promise to not let Otter go. You have to promise not to drive him away. I’m scared of what will happen to you if you do.”
“I promise I can try,” I say meekly.
“Then I can promise to try as well,” he says, trapping me neatly.
I almost drive past anyway.
“ABOUT time you got here!” Creed shouts as me and the Kid walk through the door. “I was about to go out and hunt you two down.” He hugs me fiercely, and I see Ty over his shoulder but he won’t look at me. I know he’s angry at me, but this is the only thing I could think of to do.
“Sorry,” I say, forcing a smile on my face as he lets me go. “I didn’t know I needed to show up when you wanted me to.”
He snorts. “You do what I say, when I say, Bear. You know that.” He turns to the Kid. “And how’s my favorite little man in all the world?” He picks him up and sets him on his hip. “Why are you being all quiet?” he asks him suspiciously. “Is Papa Bear beating you? Do I need to take him down a few pegs?”
This makes the Kid giggle, and I feel myself relax. Ty wraps one arm around his neck and kisses Creed on the cheek. “Hey, Uncle Creed,” he says.
“Hey, yourself,” Creed says back. “That’s better. I thought we were going to have a problem here or something.” He carries the Kid toward the kitchen, and I hear him ask Ty about his sleepover, and Ty instantly launches into full detail, and I can do nothing but follow. I walk past the pictures, and I know they are all pointing and laughing at me again. Ha ha, they say. Ha ha on you! I walk faster.
Otter’s in the kitchen, and he grabs the Kid from Creed and spins him around, and Ty does his usual false protestations. Otter brings him up, and Ty’s head goes to his ear, and I can see his mouth moving as he whispers something, something so soft that Creed and I cannot hear what he is saying. The Kid pulls back, a serious look on his face, mirroring the one that has appeared on Otter’s. Otter nods his head, and Ty wiggles down from his arms and grabs Creed’s hand. “Can I show you something I found on the Internet at school, Uncle Creed?” he says, pulling Creed toward the stairs.
Creed grins back at me, and as they turn the corner, I can hear him say, “If you show me porn, I’m complaining to the school board on Monday.”
I stare after them as they disappear. I know what the Kid is doing, and I curse him silently in my head. Part of me wants to know what he said to Otter, but the other part wants to follow after them and not worry about it at all. Before I can move, Otter is standing next to me. He reaches out tentatively and touches my fingers. I sigh and link my pinkie with his, and he smiles.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey, yourself,” I say back.
“You okay?” he asks, concern in his voice.
“What’d the Kid say to you?”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
I roll my eyes. “You didn’t answer mine.”
He grabs onto my hand, gripping it gently. “I asked first,” he says, grinning. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“I’m fine,” I say, dropping his hand and rubbing my arms.
He arches his eyebrow. “You looked spooked, Bear.”
I glare at him. “There are a lot of things going on right now, Otter. I don’t know if it’s such a good idea that we’re here.”
He snorts. “So… what? You’re going to ignore Creed for the rest of your life?” He takes a step closer and as my back is against a wall, I can’t move. “You’re going to ignore me for the rest of your life?”
I put my hands up to push him away, and they fall on his chest, his big, hard, overgrown chest, and he brings his hands up to cover mine, and all I want to do is be sheltered by him. I want to crawl up against him and have him dig around inside my head and make all the bad things go away. It’s funny, really. I can feel doubt and anger and trepidation all I want, but the moment I am in his presence, the moment I can touch and see and hear and smell and taste him, all that is driven away. Not all the way away, but far enough. I don’t know what that says about him. I don’t know what that says about me. He gazes down at me, waiting for an answer.