I didn’t know. “How do you figure?” I asked, the sarcasm evident in my voice.
Her eyes flashed. “Don’t be difficult, Bear. It’s really—”
“Unattractive. I know, I know.”
She smiled thinly. “Be ready to go when I get there, no excuses, no delays. Got it?” Her face scrunched up. “Maybe you should get a haircut before you go, so Otter doesn’t think he’s agreeing to love a homeless person.”
I fought back everything I really wanted to stay. That was a battle almost lost. I nodded instead.
“Good, now I have to run and help Creed finish setting up. What time tomorrow, Bear?”
“Eight forty-five.”
She smiled and walked away.
Nosy, nosy people.
THE Kid enjoyed dinner, saying that it turned out great. I said it tasted like sawdust, so I put ketchup and bacon bits on mine. The Kid told me that he thought gay people were supposed to be classy, but then he looked me up and down and said that even nice stereotypes can be a detriment to society because I obviously wasn’t classy. I threatened to put bacon bits in everything I cooked him from now on. The Kid said he wanted to move back with his mom. I told him that wasn’t funny. He grinned and said, “One day, it will be.”
I should have realized that something was going to happen. There always seems to be one final thing that occurs before the Hero of a story gets his happy ending. I thought that final thing had already happened, what with my misinformed decision to end things and the fact that I’d learned A Very Valuable Lesson. That’s how stories go, isn’t it? Our Hero makes a big mistake, and in doing so, learns something important that changes the way he views the world. And with that Very Valuable Lesson learned, he gets to go back and right all of his wrongs, and then he and the man of his dreams will get to fuck like monkeys as the sun sets. That’s how these things always work. Regardless of how scared I was, regardless of how I thought the conversation would go, I didn’t doubt that Otter would at least try to hear me out. He’s so much better than me in that regard. I knew that even if the outcome wasn’t what I wanted, even if I didn’t get my happy ending, it wouldn’t be because he wouldn’t listen.
The night was normal. We had dinner. We watched TV. We talked, laughed, bickered affectionately. As always, the Kid’s eyes drooped, and his head starting nodding to the side, and even though he said he wasn’t tired, I still picked him up. We brushed our teeth. I got him into his PJs. He got into bed, the covers up to his chin. We talked some more, things that I think will stay just between us, between brothers. He played with my fingers while he spoke, his eyes on mine. Finally, his eyes closed and a little snore erupted from his slack mouth. I bent over and kissed his forehead and closed the door.
I did laundry. I cleaned up the kitchen. I cleaned the bathroom. I watched some more TV. I tried not to think too much about the next day, realizing that I could plan every single word I was going to say, but my mouth would open and run on its own so there really was no point. As long as I could tell him that I loved him, that I would always love him, I think I would have been fine with everything else.
I hadn’t realized I’d fallen asleep until the ringing phone jerked me awake. I glanced at the clock: eleven forty-two. I had only been out for thirty minutes. The phone rang again.
Creed.
I rolled my eyes and connected the call. “Drunk dialing already? Isn’t it a little early for that? I expected it to be after one when you first called.”
“Bear?” Creed’s voice came through, strained. I could hear someone murmuring in the background. Beyond that, a loud thumpthumpthump of music. “Bear, can you hear me?”
“How much have you had?” I laughed.
“Shut up and listen!” he shouted. I sat up straight at the sound of the panic in his voice.
“What’s going on, Creed? Is everyone okay?”
“No, it’s not. He’s leaving.”
“What? Who?”
“Otter! He’s packing up his shit, and he’s leaving!”
“What?” I whispered. “To go where?”
“Where the fuck do you think? Back to California. Bear, you’ve got to fix this now! You can’t let him leave!”
“But—”
“No buts!” Creed screamed. “Now!”
“Creed?”
“Bear?”
“It’s strong. I’ll fix this.”