“You lucky you pretty.” Tiggy said, burying his face in Gary’s ridiculous mane. “Feel like bubbles on my nose.”
“Listen to me,” I snapped. “You all need to keep your mouths shut! There will be no talking. Well, except for Morgan because I think he’s supposed to talk. And Randall, since he’s officiating the entire ceremony. They can talk. None of the rest of you can.”
“I can talk if I want to,” Dad said, looking slightly defiant.
“I’m serious,” I said.
“Dear,” Mom said. “Look. He’s serious. That’s his serious face.”
“You’ve made that same face since you were three,” Dad said. “That’s how we knew you were serious.”
“Like the one time he was six and came home to tell us he was seriously going to kiss Derek?” Mom said.
“Or that other time he was almost eight and said he was seriously considering opening up a business to sell toast and hats and wouldn’t I like to invest?” Dad said.
“Or when he was ten and he told us that he was seriously upset because we wouldn’t let him jump off the roof naked to test the wings he’d made out of a bedsheet and couldn’t we just see how serious he was?”
“You were a very strange child,” Randall said.
“I am nothing but a product of my upbringing,” I said, frowning at my parents.
“Thank you,” Mom said, beaming.
“And you’re welcome,” Dad said.
“You’re lucky I love you,” I told them. “Because otherwise I’d be ordering you to the dungeons for treason for telling the naked roof-jumping bedsheet story.”
“Pooping in buckets is a small price to pay to be able to tell that story,” Dad assured me. “Especially when I get to tell the part about how you were bare-ass naked when you were trying to argue with us.”
“If you try that now,” Gary said, “I bet you’d win more arguments.”
“Please don’t try that with me,” Randall said. “I don’t know how much shockingly pale skin I can handle.”
“Gods,” I muttered. “How did we even get here?”
“That’s a question I find I ask myself often around you,” Morgan said, patting my arm.
And then the announcement horns flourished brightly and all conversation ceased. Pete poked his head back out into the throne room. “We’re about to begin,” he said. “Joshua, Rosemary, if you could follow me please. I’ll show you to your seats.”
“I can’t believe the King got Justin to agree to allow you and Tiggy in the ceremony,” I told Gary. “I thought for sure he’d nix it.”
Gary rolled his eyes. “I told him it was considered the greatest of fortunes to have a unicorn and a half-giant walk down the aisle together. That it would bring him and his marriage luck and prosperity.”
I was slightly put out. If that was true, I would have hoped Gary and Tiggy would have instead refused to even show up.
“Stop pouting,” Gary said. “I just made that up so you wouldn’t have to stand there by yourself looking sad and alone and afraid and sad.”
“And handsome,” I said.
“Let’s not push it.”
“Said the talking cotton balls,” I muttered under my breath.
“What?” he asked sharply.
I smiled sweetly at him.
Mom and Dad kissed me on the cheek before following Pete through the Great Doors.