“Yeah,” I said. “I don’t think he’s done any of that.”
“All of it,” Gary said. “I’ve done all of that. Biting winter and moon leaves or whatever. I’m pretty much amazing.”
“So you can’t leave him unprotected,” I said. “Someone might steal him away and make him a dancer in a burlesque.”
“Wait, wait,” Gary said. “You never said there’d be a burlesque involved. Just how big are the production values? How much say would I get to have in the direction of the show?”
“Minimal,” I said ominously. “To both.”
Gary whirled on Kevin. “You better not even consider leaving me to get kidnapped into some cut-rate high school production of a sex show. I swear to you on all I have, you will never get to sample all of Gary’s goods because the bakery will be closed, and girl, let me tell you. My muffin is delicious.” He licked his lips obscenely.
“Scarred for life,” I breathed. “This was a very bad idea.”
“Muffin?” Kevin asked.
“Delicious,” Gary purred.
“But… but…,” Kevin sputtered. “My stuff.”
“We come back for it,” I said, trying to get the image of Gary as a large baked good out of my head. “Eventually.”
“Or,” Kevin said, “I can carry Gary with me and make return trips.”
“Gary don’t fly,” Gary said, a shimmer of glitter around him. “Don’t make Gary show you what’s up.”
“All my stuff,” Kevin said mournfully, rubbing his claws over his treasures. “All my pretty, pretty things.”
“We’ll come back,” I said, daring to reach out and touch his leg. “I promise.”
“But what if someone steals it?”
“You mean like you did?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said, completely oblivious. “Exactly like that.”
“They won’t,” I said. “You’re a god, remember? They wouldn’t dare. You’d eat them.”
“Because dis is yer god spakin—”
“Sure,” I said. “Why not.”
“Fine,” he finally grumbled. “But if anyone even thinks of touching my hoard, I will find them and light them on fire and their children and their children’s children…”
“This is going to go so well.” I sighed.
“…and their children’s children’s children….”
I THOUGHT to leave the next day.
But I couldn’t take the chance that we’d catch up to Ryan and Justin.
So I delayed.
I said I wasn’t quite ready to leave yet.
I said that Kevin needed more time to say good-bye to his possessions.
I said Gary needed more time to rest his thighs.