“It’s certainly not a compliment.”
“Well, if it makes you feel better, they’ve gotten me over Firework Corn. I never want to see corn ever again.”
“Sam.”
“Yeah.”
“Stay safe.” And the crystal went dark.
“Gods,” I muttered. “I can’t even get the exit line. I don’t get the guy, my clothes don’t billow when I crest hills, I don’t even get the last word. What the fuck.”
I thought about taking a stand right then and there. I didn’t want to hurt any of them (except for maybe Eloise; I wanted to beat her in the face with corn) because they were under whatever “truth” they’d been fed that day. I didn’t want to underestimate her either. After all, she’d built an entire cult up in fifty-some-odd days, and that takes real dedication. That and the fact that she was probably batshit crazy. I was also still pissed off at her that she’d made me eat her hair. That shit is not hygienic.
So I did the only thing I could think of.
I ran the opposite direction.
CHAPTER 24
Upon These Stars
THEY MUST have heard me running gracefully (read: not gracefully at all), because when I rounded the corner to the keep, Ryan, Gary, and Tiggy were already moving forward. Ryan had his sword drawn again, and Gary and Tiggy looked ready to lay down some righteous fury.
“What the hell is happening?” Ryan demanded.
And yeah. Apparently working out should become part of my regimen because I was seriously out of breath. I held up a finger at them as I bent over, trying to catch my breath.
“Sam,” Gary said.
Gods, didn’t he understand the point of the finger?
I glared at him.
He rolled his eyes.
“He breathes a lot through his mouth,” Justin said, sounding disgusted. “I’ve noticed that.”
I wanted to tell him that I was going to shove some magic up his ass, but I couldn’t quite yet make the words come out.
“Why are you noticing his mouth?” Gary asked sweetly. “Aren’t you getting enough at home?”
Ryan scowled like a champ. I couldn’t even begin to guess who that scowl was meant for.
“Tiggy gonna smash some things,” Tiggy said. “Tiggy angry.”
“No, Tiggy,” Gary said. “Not things. You want to smash princes.”
Tiggy turned toward Justin, who had the decency to take a step back.
“Cult,” I finally managed to say. “Coming… to murder… our faces.”
“Well shit,” Gary said. “I told you we should have killed them all. But Knight Sanctimonious Face over there was all, like, ‘No, we can’t. We’re good and our hearts are pure and we must spare lives and watch as I pose with everything I do.’”
“I did not say that,” Ryan said. “And I don’t pose.”
I gulped up another breath. “You’re posing… right now.”
And he was, standing there, sword drawn, shoulders squared, chin held high, eyes on the horizon. And gods, he looked so fucking hot doing so. Like a douche, yes. But a hot douche.