“What happened to your priorities?”
“I still have them,” I said, weaving a strand of crocus my mother had grown through the braid. They were purple and matched the dye I’d put in before I started braiding. “I just like looking at nice things. And want to touch them with my mouth.”
“You want to lick his balls,” Gary said, just to see me sputter and flush brightly.
“Shut up,” I managed to say, pulling the braid tightly and causing him to wince.
“I don’t see why you don’t just tell him.”
“That I want to lick his balls?” I squeaked.
“Among other things.”
“Um. Because he’s dating the Prince? My future King? That in itself should be reason enough for me to never open my mouth in front of him again.”
“Honey, you’ll never know unless you try,” Gary said quietly. “I have a feeling you’d be surprised by the answers you get.”
I scowled at him. “Look. I know what you’re trying to do. What all of you are trying to do. Okay? I get it. But it’s not funny anymore. He’s with the Prince. Who can offer him things I would never be able to. Justin is a prick, but he’s gorgeous and super rich and has an epic nose and I’m sure his penis is just gargantuan. He’s also going to be the fucking king and I’m a lowly wizard’s apprentice who can’t even stop himself from getting captured every time he’s allowed to go out into the world on his own. And I would never do that to anyone. Hurt them like that. It’s wrong. And you talk like there’s a chance. But there hasn’t ever been one, so I’m going sit here with my funny little dreams that are going to stay dreams, and one day I’ll be over it because I was able to do it on my own.” I was breathing heavily by the time I’d finished and my hands were shaking.
Gary turned his head
and pressed his nose against my cheek. “Oh, sweetheart,” he sighed. “You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. I promise you: you’re destined for great things, because all those wishes on the stars you made will finally come true. And you’ll meet a man who will sweep you off your feet and you won’t even be able to remember Ryan Foxheart.”
“Yeah,” I muttered. I twisted the final braid. “All done.”
“How do I look?” Gary asked, posing obscenely.
“Like the fiercest unicorn who ever lived,” I said honestly.
“You’re too good to me,” Gary said. “Now, I want you to get some sleep. You okay to get to your room?”
I shrugged and looked at my fingers. There was purple dye on the tips.
“You just want to stay here with me?”
I shrugged again because I totally wanted to stay with Gary.
So Gary curled himself around me, and I put my head near his throat. He whispered sweet things in my ear until I drifted off. And when I dreamed, I dreamt of stars.
CHAPTER 4
I’d Swallow Anything for You
“HOT DAMN, boy,” Gary crowed as I entered the throne lobby. “You looking fine.”
And I was. After pouting and bitching to Gary and generally feeling sorry for myself, I decided that was complete and utter bullshit. I was awesome and epic and no one had a right to make me feel like crap, not even Prince Justin. So I decided to go all out.
My hair was too floppy on my head, so I’d sat in front of the mirror and sheared off the sides, buzzing it close to my scalp. I left some length on the top and spiked it up with a soft rubber that I’d bought at Market. By the time I’d finished, my neck looked longer, my cheekbones higher. My eyes brighter. I winked at myself in the mirror and then realized that’s what douchebags did, so I vowed to never do it again.
I pulled on the black trousers that showed off my ass. And apparently my balls, because they were that tight. I wondered just how many awkward conversations that would lead to.
I wore the red jerkin Mom had suggested, cinching it tight at the waist. The sleeves clung to my shoulders and arms.
I shined the fuck out of the boots.
Needless to say, I looked like a high-end prostitute when I was summoned from my room.
“I would let you stay the night and then have you for breakfast,” Gary said.