"We hate to read."
"We can't read what we write."
"We have bombs that will go down a hundred miles before they explode. Your present depth of planning is to live forty-two miles underground. We can fuse our bombs to detonate so far past forty-two that they won't damage anybody on our side or theirs. You can wage a nuclear war that causes no damage to life or property on earth. That's humane, isn't it? That's fucking humane, I'd say."
"I'd call that fucking humane."
"Let me get one fucking thing straight. Please, Skinny, let me get a word in. These fucking units are for a second strike by us?"
"They will go after surviving enemy units that have not been used in their first strike."
"Why would they not use them in their first strike?"
"How the fuck should I know?"
"You guarantee your planes will work?"
"They've been working more than two years now. We've had models flying back and forth that long. You must tell us now if you want to go ahead. Otherwise we'll take our fucking Shhhhh! somewhere else."
"You could not do that," said Fat. "Excuse me, Skinny, let me continue."
"It's my turn, Fat. That would be against the law."
Milo's laugh was benign. "How would you know? The planes are invisible and make no noise."
"Oh, shit, I can't believe these questions," said Wintergreen. "What the fuck difference does it make if it works or not? Its chief value is to deter. By the time it goes into action it has already failed."
"I still have a question. Let me proceed, Fat."
"It's my turn, you skinny prick."
"No, it isn't, you fat fuck."
"Don't listen to that shithead," persisted Fat. "If it's invisible and noiseless, what's to stop you from selling it to the enemy anyway?"
"Our patriotism."
And after that one, Bingam called a final recess.
"Wintergreen," whispered Milo, in the pause before they concluded, "do we really have a bomb that will go down a hundred miles before exploding?"
"We'll have to look. What about the old Stealth? Do you think they'll catch on?"
"They're not really the same. The Stealth was never built. So our Shhhhh! is newer."
"I'd say so too."
There were those on the panel who wanted more time, and others like Fat and Skinny who were insisting on a comparison check with the Strangelove B-Ware. They would need Yossarian, Milo grunted dejectedly, while the three senior military officers conferred in whispers. Bingam waited tensely. Wintergreen fumed visibly. Milo advised him to stop, since no one was watching. Finally, the rear admiral looked up.
"Gentlemen." His manner of speaking was unhurried. "We are after a weapon for the new century that will render all other armaments subsidiary and inconsequential."
"You need look no further," Milo advised hopefully.
"I myself," continued the admiral, as though he had heard nothing, "am inclined to put myself in the camp of General Bingam. Bernie, that's another feather in your cap. I want to recommend your Shhhhh! But before I put myself on record, there's a question of substance." He bent closer toward them, with his elbows on the table and his chin on clasped hands. "Your plane, Mr. Minderbinder. You must tell me honestly. If deployed in sufficient numbers, can it destroy the world?"
Milo exchanged a frantic look with Wintergreen. They chose to come clean. Wintergreen lowered his eyes while Milo responded sheepishly.
"I'm afraid not, sir," confessed Milo, with a blush. "We can make it uninhabitable, but we can't destroy it."