"I don't have the chaplain."
"I know that, Yo-Yo, but they don't."
"I'm too old for Yo-Yo."
"Your friends call you Yo-Yo."
"Name one, you jackass."
"I will check. But you came to the right man when you came to the Gaff. I can tell you the ways they keep you under surveillance, and I can teach you to avoid surveillance, and then I can give you the measures they employ to thwart someone like you who has learned to thwart their surveillance."
"Aren't you contradicting yourself?"
"Yes. But meanwhile I've spotted four following you who've disguised themselves cleverly. Look, there goes the gentleman we know as our Jewish G-man, trying to get on a plane to New York. He was in Kenosha yesterday."
"I saw him somewhere but wasn't sure."
"Possibly in your dream. Pacing in the motel parking lot and saying his evening prayers. How many do you recognize?"
"At least one," said Yossarian, warming to the counterintelligence business in which they now seemed to be conspiring. "And I don't even have to look. A tall man in seersucker with freckles and orange hair. It's almost winter and he's still wearing seersucker. Right? I'll bet he's there, against a wall or column, drinking soda from a paper cup."
"It's an Orange Julius. He wants to be spotted."
"By whom?"
"I'll check."
"No, let me do it!" Yossarian declared. "I'm going to talk to that bastard, once and for all. You keep watch."
"I have a gun in my ankle holster."
"You too?"
"Who else?"
"McBride, a friend of mine."
"At PABT?"
"You know him?"
"I've been there," said Gaffney. "You'll be going again soon now that the wedding has been set."
"It has?" This was news to Yossarian.
Gaffney again looked pleased. "Even Milo doesn't know that yet, but I do. You can order the caviar. Please let me tell him. The SEC has to approve. Do you find that one funny?"
"I've heard it before."
"Don't say much to that agent. He might be CIA."
Yossarian was displeased with himself because he felt no real anger as he strode up to his quarry.
"Hi," said the man, curiously. "What's up?"
Yossarian spoke gruffly. "Didn't I see you following me in New York yesterday?"
"No."