“I know,” I whispered, feeling the place between my thighs clench tight with need. “But Jake, would it really be so bad?”
“It’s the worst kind of blasphemy—a taboo no Were can break on pain of death,” he said solemnly. “I’m sorry, baby, but even for you, I just can’t.”
“Why?” I said desperately. “Why is it so wrong?”
Jake sighed unhappily.
“I’m pretty sure it goes back to the First Wolf. Some of his original descendants bred together and the children they had were…monstrous.”
“Monstrous? How?” I demanded.
He shook his head.
“Deformed, crazy, killing machines. You know those old movies about the ‘wolfman?’”
I nodded.
“I guess so.”
“Well, those were based on sightings humans had of the inbred Wolves,” Jake told me. “They killed so many people, the humans found out about us—this was back in the Middle Ages, in Europe somewhere,” he added. “Anyway, the Weres almost died out because the humans went after them—after us.”
“Wow,” I whispered. “I didn’t realize.”
“Because you weren’t raised as a Were,” Jake said grimly. “But it’s drilled into every Were kid’s head from the minute they can understand it. After the Were massacre was over, the survivors made the rules against incest—any kind of incest,” he went on, frowning. “They’re called “The Unbreakable Laws.” So please don’t say again that we’re not blood related—by Were law, we are. So we can’t run off together, Ani—we just can’t.”
“But, Jake—” I began, but just then we heard the sound of a car coming up the front drive.
“Quick!” I gasped. “They’re back!”
Jake was already at the window, making sure the coast was clear.
“Take a shower,” he said to me. “Wash my scent off you. There’s not as much as if I’d filled you, but there’s still some—enough to detect.”
“Where are you going?” I asked him as he started climbing out the window.
“I don’t know.” He looked unhappy. “I parked around the back—I’ll probably drive around for most of the night so my dad doesn’t get suspicious.” He sighed. “And I’ll have to find a place to wash your scent off my skin too—though I don’t want to.”
“I don’t want to wash yours off either,” I whispered. I loved his warm, fur and bonfire smell—it made me feel safe and protected to wear it on my skin like some forbidden perfume.
“You have to though—it’s the only way to be safe,” he warned me.
“When can we do this again?” I asked him, going to the window to watch as he climbed over the edge.
Jake was straddling the window sill, about to climb down. He took my face in his hands and looked at me earnestly.
“I should say ‘never,’ but I don’t know if either of us could stand that, baby,” he murmured. “For now, we just have to stay away from each other for a while.” He looked into my eyes. “Just remember, even when it seems like I’m ignoring you or I don’t care, that’s not the case. But I have to pretend—we both do.”
I shook my head.
“I can’t live like this! Pretending we hate each other, ignoring each other, when all we really want is to be together—it’s horrible!”
He sighed unhappily.
“I don’t like it either, but what else can we do?”
It was on the tip of my tongue to say, “run away together!” once more, but he had already made it clear he wouldn’t do that. He might have feelings for me, but he wasn’t willing to go the extra mile—wasn’t willing to break the taboo that was carved in stone in Were culture. It seemed like we would be stuck in a kind of limbo forever.
Except forever only lasted until the next day…
THIRTY-FIVE
I was sitting at the dinner table the next night, looking at emails on my phone, which I held discretely under the table. My mom’s rule was “no phones at the table” but as long as I wasn’t super obvious about it, she usually left me alone.
Madison and Ashley had been sending me pictures of their trip to Florida, maybe as a way to make me feel better. Word had apparently leaked out about the abduction and both of them had wanted to come see me. I had refused all visitors, however, because I was afraid if I saw their familiar faces, I might spill the secret that was burning inside me.
I wanted desperately to talk it all out with someone who could offer some sympathy but you know what they say, “once two people know a secret, it’s not a secret anymore.” Or something like that. Anyway, I just knew I didn’t dare to see them.
So I stayed in my room, but I did read their emails with a sense of longing and nostalgia. Back when they’d asked me to join their trip, I had been innocent of the Were world and its workings. Now I knew much more than I wanted to—and I loved a man I could never have.