"He's been alone too long."
"He's never been in love?"
"Not once."
"Not even with Plum?" I say. "Surely that girl could even melt the burliest mountain man's heart."
Bartlett laughs. "She was my first love, that's for sure."
"Your first?" I ask. We haven't gone deep enough to touch on his past relationships. "And your second?"
Bartlett's eyes reach mine. He swallows. "I feel like I'm falling for you," he says, "in the space of a day. Rye would probably call me crazy, but I think there are crazier things than knowing what you want and giving someone a chance."
My heart pounds at his vulnerability. "I don't deserve that," I say.
"Deserve what?" he counters.
"The truth."
"Everyone deserves the truth."
I bite my bottom lip. "Do you want to talk about why Rye was so mad?"
"Not really," Bartlett says, "but I will." He runs a hand over his jaw, takes another drink of his peppermint mocha. "He says you weren't on the train manifesto." Bartlett shakes his head. "He has a buddy who works at the train station. He was able to get the records, I guess, of everyone who came through on the trains the last few days and there was no Abby. I told him that maybe you had hopped the train, you know? That Jack Kerouac shit we talked about. Maybe you didn't have a ticket. Maybe–"
I take his hand. "That's not why I wasn't on the manifesto," I say, shaking my head, exhaling. "My name isn't Abby."
"It's not?" he says, looking at me like I'm a stranger.
"No, it's not. It's–" I groan, dropping my head back. "My name is a lot worse than Abby. It's Abracadabra."
"What?" Bartlett looks at me like I'm literally crazy.
"Don't laugh," I say. "I mean I–"
"Did you say your name's Abracadabra?"
"Hey, your mom named you after food. I don't think you get to judge me." I groan again. "Oh my God. This is mortifying, but my family... We're in the circus. We are the circus. That's why I've been here before. Remember, you told me the story about when you were a little kid, how you remember the year the circus came to town. Well, that was my family. We're a traveling circus show. And my parents thought they were so clever when they named me, their only child, Abracadabra. I've only ever gone by Abby. But my license," I pull it out of my coat pocket, showing him my ID, "look, Abracadabra. Officially, yep, that's me." I hold the picture next to my face, grinning like a dork.
Bartlett cracks up. Like actually cracks up. Knee slapping, belly laughing. "Oh my God," he said. "I never could have imagined that." He pulls out his phone and begins scrolling through texts. "You are Abracadabra," he says. "Fucking Rye. That guy thinks he's such a fucking know-it-all. I told him I didn't care what the manifesto said or what he thought."
"Really?" I say. "You told him you didn't care what he discovered? This horrifying truth about me, the liar." I blink at the realization that Bartlett stood up for me. He believed in me.
"Yeah," he says, taking my hand. "I feel something here. Real. Something really real with you, Abby– I mean, Abracadabra."
"I always hated my name," I say, pressing a finger to his lip. "But somehow when you say it, it doesn’t sound so bad. But still, it’s not something I go spreading around."
"I think it’s cute,” he says, giving me a kiss. Then he grins again. “It was on the papers," he says, "and your driver's license. I don't think it's quite as secret as you think."
"I never tell anyone my real name," I admit. "But now you know."
"Yes," he says. He shows me the phone. "Look," he tells me, "your name is right here. You came in on the train yesterday at 2:30."
"Yes, I did," I say. "Ever since I was here when I was a little girl, I’ve wanted to come back. I was only here for a few nights with my family doing that show, but I thought this town was magic. And now I feel like it's magic in a whole new way."
"Why is that?" Bartlett asks, cupping my cheek, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear and looking at me like I am precious.
"After meeting your family and seeing how much they care about you, how much they want you to be happy – even Rye, his intentions were good – it just reminds me that my family, they don't care about my happiness at all." I tell him about my parents. How I'd asked to leave the traveling show for years and they wouldn't let me. "I had to save up money behind their backs so I could go. They want me to marry this guy, Ricky. He was one of the performers in the show. They love him. And for all the wrong reasons. Mostly because he's my dad's drinking buddy. And I knew if I stayed any longer, I'd end up with him. And I couldn't let that happen."