I try to meet her eyes, but she looks away.
“What’s the matter?” I ask her. “Did I do something to upset you?”
“Forget it,” she says, looking over at the registers.
“Is it Zach? Those vitamins? They sound too good to be true. Or I bet they cost a fortune.”
“You don’t even want to know how much they cost,” she says. “Really, the less you know, the better.”
“But what if they work?”
“They don’t work,” she says.
“How can you be so sure?”
“Can’t you drop it?”
Something troubles me in the way she doesn’t meet my eyes. “Zach said they would help me stay calm. Be focused. Help me deal with my fear of touching. But they don’t work.”
“How do you know?”
She shakes her head. “They won’t help you. Even if they did, you wouldn’t like what they do to you. Once you start...”
“Once you start?” I ask.
“Let’s just say they have side effects, okay?” she says. She turns away. “Look, our food is almost ready.”
Later I wish I’d asked her more, but she is obviously in no mood to talk about it.
“Can I call you?” I ask her instead, looking at the table.
“This isn’t about the kiss, is it?”
“No,” I say, blushing. “What do you mean?”
“Just don’t get any ideas, Stanley. It was a sweet hug. A truly epic kiss. But I’m too messed up right now to—”
“To talk on the phone?”
But she’s turned away. Some old lady brings us our tray, sets it down.
“Stanley, you’re like the only friend I’ve got right now, the only person I can trust. But I don’t want you telling anyone about what I told you.”
“I won’t,” I say. “I won’t even tell anyone how nice you smell.”
“Joke all you want. But I’m in enough trouble as it is.”
“I promise I won’t tell,” I say.
“Good,” she says. “At least that’s something. And thanks for letting me ‘use’ you.”
She winks at me.
“You’re welcome,” I say, feeling my face grow hot. “Anytime, I guess.”
I unwrap my veggie burger and bite in. There’s nothing like a BK veggie burger. Is it the way they microwave it? Or the fact that it’s sold in a place that makes real hamburgers? I don’t know. But it’s always been satisfying. Comfort food. What I need right now, I think.
Because I keep glancing at Karen. Well, at Karen, yeah, but also at the two Whoppers she got for the price of one.