Morgan hands me a tissue from her robe. I wipe beneath my eyes, and with a warm smile, I offer, “Coffee?”
She nods, grabbing my hand, and leading me inside. With the door shut behind us, we make our way to the kitchen. Working in silence, she pulls two mugs out of the cupboard as I start the coffee machine. I place her mug underneath the spout, popping a pod in, then waiting for it to complete before doing the same with my own.
Grabbing the two mugs, I place one in front of her on the table and sit beside her.
“Black?” she asks with smile, her brow pushing up in curiosity.
“Yeah, it’s kinda grown on me,” I say, pursing my lips as I blow away the steam.
Quietly, she drinks, consuming the warm liquid. Neither one of us knows what to say, but if there’s any moment where I need to tell her the truth, it’s now. The wall between us needs to finally come down once and for all.
“I’m sorry, Morgan… for last night and for everything.” I rest my hand on top of hers. Her skin is noticeably ice cold. “You’ve carried so much for so long. You were forced to replace Mom because no one else would take care of me. I admire you. In fact, I think you’re the strongest person I know.”
“You do?” She lifts her head up, eyes searching mine as if to unveil the truth. “I never told you, but Mom would tell me how proud she was of you. The day she died, she told me that you ignited this fire within her. Everything she was afraid of doing in her life was everything you so easily had done. She was in awe of you, your beauty and passion for such a young age.”
The sentiment hits a nerve I’ve had buried for such a long time. I miss her, and no matter what Morgan does for me, it doesn’t replace the absence of my own mother. The grief, unbeknown to me at this moment, crashes into me like a forceful wave in the midst of a storm. My body shakes uncontrollably, while the pain inside my chest surfaces into ugly sobs as the memory of her face haunts me.
Morgan caresses my hand, wiping back her own tears and allowing me to express mine. As the sobs thin out to small cries, I manage to calm myself enough to recall what my mother told me the day she died.
“I remember holding her hand in the hospital and being alone with her in the room. She said she would miss Daddy and to take care of him. She told me she would miss me and how much she loved me,” I cry, reliving the pain of watching her face turn an odd shade of gray as the words barely came out in a croak. “Then she told me that going to heaven would be easy because you were destined to carry on her legacy. You were her firstborn, and no one could take the memory of the moment she first held you in her arms. She never expected to experience a love so unconditional that nothing else in the world, at that moment, had mattered but you.”
Morgan’s grip is tight as we both relive the memory of the woman who brought us together. A woman whose blood runs deep within our veins.
“I’m sorry for the names that I called you.” Morgan clutches my hand tight, in desperate need to apologize. “For the callous words I used. I’m sorry for everything. I’ve put you through so much, and you didn’t deserve to carry my painful mistakes. Not when you have your own burdens.” Between her soft cries, she gently whispers, “And I’m sorry that it was me he fell in love with. I wish it weren’t me.”
“But Morgan…” I interject, quick to relay my honest thoughts, “… it was always meant to be you. The both of you were always meant to bring this beautiful child into this world, and no matter what happens with the two of you, Jessa doesn’t deserve anything less. You both need to understand that.”
I wait before I continue but with slight caution. Morgan is living the pain of the aftermath I had magically escaped. “Family is everything. Jessa deserves the best chance at having a family, so whatever it is that you need to do to make sure that happens for her, then do it. I’m not saying forget because it’s impossible to forget the amount of pain he caused you, but it is something you will need to work on for the sake of your daughter.”
“Why are you doing this for me? I treated you like rubbish and pushed you away like I push everyone away.”
“No, Morgan,” I correct her. “I treated you like rubbish. I’ve never understood the concept of family. I never understood your responsibilities. I only cared about myself. I don’t want to be this person anymore.”
Morgan raises from her chair the same time I do, and we both wrap our arms around each other in a tight embrace.
Whether it was a dream or not, whether it was real or not, every ounce of her pain weighs her down just like it does with me. She has no escape from this nightmare. But if there’s one thing I can say, having walked in the footsteps of my sister, it’s that she is a warrior.
A brave fighter who will endure and overcome the adversities of life all because of the power of love.
There’s only one more thing I need to do.
With my window shut after waving goodbye to Morgan, my engine roars down the street as I make my way over to his apartment. Taking a deep breath, I practice in my head on the drive over what I need to finally say to him.
An hour later, across town, in an expensive bachelor pad, Noah answers the door dressed in a white T-shirt and pair of shorts. His eyes are dull and empty, the stench of his skin from where he stands smells like bourbon.
“Scarlett, what are you doing here?” his voice asks with trepidation.
“I just wanted to tell you that I don’t want to be in the middle of you and Morgan anymore. This is your battle.”
“But Scarlett—”
“Let me finish.” I raise my hand effectively cutting him off. “I have some things I need to get off my chest.”
“Will you at least come in?”
The question alone raises so many mixed emotions.