“I do fucking own it. I know what I did and I don’t fucking like it. It’s not exactly something I want to keep being reminded about. I did what I had to do and I got caught. Fuck. I’m sorry you got dragged into it, but it’s fucking over. Can’t we just move on?”
“This isn’t over, Noah. It’s far from over,” I yell back at him. “You stole a fucking car because some douchebag told you too. Can’t you see how fucking wrong it is? Why the hell do you let him dictate your life like that? I just…I can’t understand why you do this. Why do you work for a man like that? Is it about the money? Because you make more than enough racing.”
Noah scoffs and shakes his head. “It’s not the fucking money, Henley,” he says, hanging his head. “I made a fucking deal with the devil and now I’m living with it.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I demand. “You can’t keep giving me these half answers. I need to know who the hell I’m getting myself involved with, Noah. Stop keeping me out in the dark.”
“Fuck, alright,” he yells, running his hand through his hair. “Anton gave me the money for Lily’s treatment. My parents couldn’t fucking afford it and she was dying. Is that what you need to hear? I was eleven and desperate, so I went to the one person who I knew could help us. I didn’t know what the hell I was getting myself involved in, but I did, and now he fucking owns me.”
I suck in a breath as I stare at Noah in shock. “Are you…” I struggle to find the words. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to that,” I tell him honestly. “You’re eighteen. Haven’t you paid him back enough?”
Noah slowly shakes his head. “I owe him my fucking life,” he tells me. “He paid for Lily’s treatments for over a year. Don’t you get it? Even if I wanted to leave, I can’t. I’m indebted to him. He gave us an extra year with Lily that without him, we never would have gotten. She was going to die without it. She was dying and he saved her for another whole year.”
The emotions overtake me and I quickly climb across the front seat of Tully’s Jeep and straddle Noah’s lap. I bury my face into his neck and let him hold me as fucking tight as he needs. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “If I’d have known…”
“Don’t,” he says. “I should have told you ages ago. It’s just…I’m not proud of needing his help. Mom and dad had exhausted all other options and we were just sitting back watching Lily waste away. I knew they’d never ask someone like Anton for help, so I did it instead. I sold my soul to him to have those last twelve months with my sister, and fuck, Henley, I’d do it over and over again.”
“I know you would,” I tell him, raising my head from his neck and pressing my lips to his. “I’m sorry I yelled at you.”
“I more than deserved it,” he admits. “I’m sorry I told you I love you. I’ll remind myself never to do that again.”
I hit his chest as a smile pulls at my lips. “Don’t be an idiot,” I tell him. “Just do it at the right time.”
His eyes sparkle as he watches me. “Noted,” he grins. “But next time this happens, try not to look so damn fine. I was worried I was about to be charged with assaulting an officer.”
“To be honest, I was a little worried about that too,” I let out a sigh as I watch this broken man before me. “Do your parents know about, you know, it all?”
He shakes his head. “No, and I don’t want them to. I think dad has his suspicions about how the money came to us, but he doesn’t know it was me who went to Anton and he sure as hell doesn’t know I’m working for him now.”
“And Tully?”
“She knows enough to keep off my ass about it, but Lily was her sister too, and she would have done the same damn thing.”
I let out a bated breath, finally understanding Tully’s hesitation in talking to me about it. “Ok.”
“Ok, what?”
“Ok, I’ll back off. I understand why you’re working for him and I get it’s something ingrained within you that you owe him, but just know that I don’t like it. He’s a dangerous man and it terrifies me that something could happen to you, and tonight is the perfect example of that.”
Noah nods, understanding where I’m coming from. “I’ll be more careful,” he promises.
“And don’t keep secrets,” I prompt. “I don’t like you going out and me not knowing what you’re doing and what kind of people you’re dealing with.”