When he smiled down at me, a bit more of the ch
ill faded.
As Jude walked away, I took a deep breath and looked around, trying to find someone I knew to talk to. Behind the visiting soccer players I spotted Miguel, Cody and Bryce, but there were just too many people to easily find who I was looking for.
“Hey, Bree.”
While I’d searched around for my friends, I hadn’t noticed Jesse right behind me.
Jude and I hadn’t discussed my thing with Jesse since the night Jude overheard Kayla and me, and neither of us had seen him. I wanted to but I was unsure where Jude stood on my friendship with Jesse. It wasn’t the right time to ask, not while Jude mourned his best friend. I’d spoken to Jesse on the phone to let him know about Taylor’s letter, and that I’d told Jude what I did. Not seeing him face to face had made it harder to apologise properly, so I didn’t. Everything seemed to be on hold, our individual issues frozen while we tried to support Freya. I was eager to get things sorted out, though, and when I looked into Jesse’s eyes, he obviously felt the same way.
“This is so awkward,” he said, gripping onto his crutches so hard his knuckles turned white. “But I think we should talk.”
As I stared at him, my heart wasn’t beating faster; no butterflies in my stomach. Yay! Back to normal!
We both stood shuffling our feet, not speaking. Usually I’d have greeted him with a hug but I’d crossed a line and until this conversation happened, I didn’t want to push it.
I thought being in Jesse’s room while I had feelings for him was uncomfortable but this was way worse. I knew our friendship wouldn’t suffer in the long term because I’d tried to kiss him. But neither of us knew how Jude would react to Jesse, and the waiting killed me.
Jesse gave me a small grin. “I know you’re trying to think of the right words to say but I don’t need them. I know you’re sorry and I understand what you were going through when you tried to kiss me. I’m cool with pretending it never happened.”
That smile. The smile of one of my favourite people. I melted a little. Not in an OMG-I-think-I-love-him way. In an I’m-so-lucky-to-have-him-in-my-life kind of way.
“Thanks, Jesse. I really am sorry.”
“Stop. Doesn’t matter. We’re good. And before I forget.” Jesse wriggled one of his hands free from his crutches and reached into the inside pocket of his jacket. “I have something for you. This is from Kayla. She says she’s sorry she couldn’t give it to you herself, but she wants you to have it.”
He pulled out a long, flowing piece of material. Kayla’s giraffe scarf. The one I’d been ready to fight her for.
“Isn’t that the scarf you bought her for Christmas?” I asked.
“Yeah. She said you loved it when you did that photo shoot thing and she thought it might be comforting for you. I promised to buy her a new one for her birthday.”
“Are you sure?” I fingered the delicate material, tears filling my eyes. How could anyone blame me for becoming so attached to such a generous, sweet family?
“I’m sure. We both are.”
“Thank you.”
I wound the scarf around me; it still smelled sweet, like Kayla’s perfume. She was right. It did comfort me.
“Hey.”
Jude touched my shoulder and the tension rose slightly, his eyes flicking between Jesse and me. He’d obviously seen Jesse give me the scarf and my heart rate kicked up again. This was exactly what we didn’t need, for him to get the wrong idea.
“Jesse just-”
“I heard,” Jude interrupted. “It’s from Kayla.”
Jesse cleared his throat. “I’m not sure how to say this without sounding like an a-hole.” His cheeks coloured slightly and I suppressed a laugh because I already knew what he was struggling to say. “Bree’s been amazing since my operation, visiting and stopping me from going crazy at my parents’ house. She’s great with Kayla, too. I couldn’t ask for a better friend. But I love my girlfriend and there’s nothing… I mean… I don’t-”
“He’s not into me,” I finished. “That’s what he’s trying to say.”
“This is not the best time or place, I know,” Jesse went on. “But I wanted to get it cleared up. I don’t want any bad feeling between us.”
Jude reached his hand out towards Jesse. “No hard feelings. There are bigger things to think about, especially today.”
As Jesse shook Jude’s offered hand, more of the weight I’d carried around lifted away from me. Jude wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and the sound of a car pulling up outside the church gates forced us back to reality.