I should have let someone know what I found. Jason promised he had no intention of using, how could he go back on that?
He’s an addict, Ellie. Addicts lie.
No. He wasn’t lying. At least, he wasn’t when he said it, but after his argument with Drew maybe...I don’t know, maybe it was too much for him. I should have called him.
Stupid, Ellie!
Please. Please, God. Let Jason get through this.
Tears prickled my eyes but I blinked them away, and reached for Drew’s hand as we rushed through the hospital to find Michael. With every step, my legs felt heavier, my heart pounded a little harder. As we stopped to work out where we were supposed to go, Drew’s phone beeped. The text message he read made all colour drain from his cheeks.
“What is it?”
“It was Dad. Jason’s in intensive care.” Drew turned to me. “Did I do this to him, Ells?”
His ashen face only intensified my own guilt. I’d barely looked at him since he woke me up, but now, standing with him, I could see every thought in his head. He hadn’t worked through the fight with Jason yet, and I could practically hear him telling himself he’d failed again.
My insides twisted, nausea swirling in my gut. If anyone failed, it was me.
“Drew.” I squeezed his hands. “No. You didn’t. This is... I don’t understand what happened, but you didn’t do this.”
He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. “If anything happens to him, I-”
“Don’t. We need to find your dad, and the doctors can tell us what’s going on, okay?”
“I don’t think I can do this, Ellie. The stuff I said to him earlier…” he paused, shaking his head.
Dammit, why did I let this get so out of hand? Thinking I was protecting Drew, when all I’d really done was allow Jason another chance to let him down. I didn’t see it coming. I’d tried to stop their family being ripped apart any further, but if Jason didn’t pull through, they would be shattered into a million pieces, and I was the one who let them fall.
I took a long, slow breath. “We have to do this. Together.”
On wobbly legs, we hurried to the ICU, and quickly found Michael pacing around the table in the centre of the waiting area, wringing his hands.
“Dad.”
Michael looked as though he’d aged twenty years, his face completely white, his eyes full of fear. He grabbed Drew and bundled him into a hug, then pulled me in, too.
“I’m so glad you’re here.” He clung to us like he’d never let go. “Being out here on my own while Jason’s-” he paused, choking on the words. Tears burned the back of my eyes again, and I fought hard to keep them under control.
“What’s happening in there?” Drew asked, taking his dad’s arm and carefully leading him to a chair to sit him down.
“They think he’s had a heart attack. He couldn’t breathe properly, and in the ambulance he... I don’t know... I don’t think he stopped breathing but he wasn’t responding to anything the paramedics did. They rushed him straight here, and I was asked to wait. He’s only been in there about five minutes, but it feels like forever.”
“So they haven’t told you what’s going on?”
“Not yet.”
“That’s not good enough. They can’t leave us waiting around without any information.”
I recognised his tone and it never led to anything good. The last thing we needed was for Drew to direct the worst of his temper at the people who were taking care of Jason.
“Drew, sit down,” I said. “At least give it a bit longer, Jason’s only been in there a few minutes-”
“And they left Dad without telling him what the hell is happening! I’m going to find out what’s going on.”
Before any of us could stop him, he barged through the double doors that presumably led to where Jason was being treated.
Michael started to rise from his seat, but I gently sat him down again. He was too weak to walk anywhere, let alone drag Drew back when he was so angry. “I’ll get him. I won’t be long.”