“And fatigue?”
Again, she nodded, this time more emphatically. She paused while a busboy came to clear their table. “That was probably the worst of it.” She resumed when they were alone again. “Once I figured out why I felt like taking a nap by ten o’clock every morning, it seemed to help things, though.”
“When did you find out? That you were pregnant?” he asked.
“When I was about five weeks along.”
“I wish you would have called me.”
The back of her neck prickled with awareness at the sound of his low, resonant voice.
“I meant to tell you all along, Ryan. Please believe that. I was going to tell you at the same time I told my parents.”
“I believe you. You’re much too honest to make me think otherwise.”
She gave him a thankful smile. “I just wanted to get through my first trimester safely.”
“I understand,” he said. She searched his face. Seeing not a hint of anger, she sighed in relief.
“Ryan, there’s something I want us to be on the same page about,” she approached the topic cautiously after the waiter brought them coffee and tea. She sensed the tension that flew into his muscles.
“About Jesse?” he asked.
She nodded, took a deep breath for courage and blurted out the details of discovering Jesse’s infidelities. She was learning to read him, she realized after a minute or two of talking almost nonstop. Most people would have called his flat expression impassive, but that slight widening of his eyes meant all-out shock on Ryan’s face.
“I can’t believe it,” he said. “Melanie Shane contacted you, and told you about her affair with your husband?”
Faith nodded and poured hot water over her tea bag. The pain that went through her at the vivid memory was lessening now, altering from the stab of betrayal to the ache of regret. Mostly she was mad at herself for not facing the truth earlier. Jesse was charming and funny and dynamic, but he was not a one-woman man.
Nor a two-woman man, for that matter.
Sometimes it was just easier to be blind to the obvious.
“It was a few months before the crash. She found me through my veterinary practice’s website,” she said. She set down her spoon and met Ryan’s stare. “I’m just thankful that I happened to open the emails that morning. Often, Jane does it before me.”
Ryan shut his eyes briefly. Pain flickered across his hard face and was gone. “They had the most volatile relationship. Jesse and Melanie were either fighting like cats and dogs or they were—”
He stopped abruptly. Their stares held as she finished his sentence in her mind.
“When Melanie first wrote me, she was in quite a state,” Faith said after a long pause. “Apparently she’d discovered that Jesse had slept with a lieutenant who trained airmen on computers at the airport. Melanie was pretty upset by it.”
Ryan grimaced. “Damn. I can’t believe Melanie did that.” He exhaled heavily. “Strike that. I can. She’d get herself into a real state at times, when it came to Jesse. I suppose she had herself convinced she was doing you a favor by pouncing on you with the news?”
Faith nodded. “Bingo. You’d think we were blood sisters, both betrayed by the devil.”
Ryan grunted. “When in reality, Melanie was feeling furious and rejected by what Jesse had done. She ran blabbing to you because she knew it would hurt Jesse. She never gave a thought or care about what she was doing to you. I’m sorry, Faith.”
“It’s not your fault. You have nothing to apologize for.”
A muscle flickered subtly in his cheek. She shook her head sadly.
“You are not responsible for Jesse’s actions,” she stated the obvious.
“I’m responsible for my own.”
Faith swallowed uneasily. Is that how he thought of her and the baby? A responsibility? A burden?
“What was Melanie like?” she asked shakily after a moment, trying to divert his attention.