“Hmmm? Oh, yeah. Fine.”
“Are you…are you still angry about the…”
“I’m not mad anymore, Esa.”
She swallowed anxiously when she heard the flat, distant quality of his voice. “You never really gave me a chance to explain why I did it.”
“I’m sure you had a stellar reason. That wasn’t really why I was calling. I just spoke with Julia.”
“Oh?” Esa asked with growing unease. “Did she stop by your condo again?”
“Yeah, she was really upset. It seems that someone she knows overheard your sister talking about running a story in Metro Sexy about Julia trying to start up things again with me while still involved with this guy she’s dating…Graves.”
Esa’s mouth gaped open. She hadn’t expected this.
“Finn…that’s not true.”
“That’s what I told her. But I have to admit, Esa, after this morning I’m not really sure what to think about you.”
“It’s true that Rachel came to your mother’s last night because of the information you accidentally left her on her phone about Julia. But I absolutely forbade her to do any story about Julia or you. I know how much you would hate that,” Esa rushed to explain.
“Yeah. Well, it looks like I don’t have any other choice but to take your word on that.”
Esa grabbed reflexively at the back of the couch as if to brace herself against the jolt of pain that suddenly went through her.
This was it.
She could just tell by the tone of his voice. The brilliant, all-too-brief affair with Finn Madigan was over…history.
“You can take my word on it. Please, Finn. I know how what I said this morning must have really taken you by surprise but you can trust me,” Esa said softly.
For a few silent seconds, as she waiting nervously for his response, she thought she might have gotten through to him. But she knew she hadn’t even before he spoke because she heard the sound of frustrated defeat in his sigh.
“You know, the thing of it is I can’t trust you. And it’s not just because of you lying. I’m not ready for this, Esa.”
Esa stared at the cushions of her couch blankly, seeing nothing, feeling like a vacuum of empty space had just opened up between her neck and belly.
“Oh. I see,” she murmured, even though in truth she felt blinded by hurt. “Well, I guess that’s it then.”
“Yeah…”
Esa’s heart leapt to life in her breast. Had that been uncertainty she heard tingeing his deep voice? She was kidding herself.
“Goodbye then,” she said breathlessly. She hit the disconnect button quickly before she made a fool of herself by begging Finn to give her a second chance.
She wasn’t sure how long she just stood there while her body tried to fend off the inevitable pain. Finally she cursed bitterly and hurled her phone onto the couch where it bounced up several feet off the taut cushion before settling.
Christ, Carla had been right. She really did have the ability to screw up something that could have been once-in-a-lifetime fantastic.
Chapter Eighteen
Two weeks later Esa walked out the emergency room exit of South Suburban Hospital with her head lowered, deep in thought. It was six-thirty on a Friday evening and the ER was packed with sick, annoyed, bored people. A virulent flu had been going around, one that worried Esa in regard to her elderly patients, who were so much more prone to dehydration than the younger, heartier portion of the population. Given the fact that many of them took several medications, dehydration tended to make the drug concentration too high in the bloodstream, causing myriad other physical problems.
That was why she’d had to hospitalize Mr. Ungar this evening. Carla had called earlier and left a message that she’d just take the train home since she wasn’t sure how long Esa would be and a last minute prediction had been made for a snowstorm.
Esa saw through the automatic glass doors that led out of the emergency room that the snow had already begun. She suppressed a groan of frustration when she saw how heavy it was. It fell straight down with no wind to hinder it, already accumulating thickly on the roads.
Great. Just great. The first storm of the season and not only had it come exceptionally early in the year but it was just recently being picked up by the weather forecast. People hadn’t had the opportunity to prepare for it and take the train into the city this morning. Add to that the factors of Friday evening and the Dan Ryan road construction and Esa saw all the components for a horrific traffic nightmare unfolding.