Too soon she slipped behind the wall I knew led to the employee’s lounge. I took one last quick pull of my drink and abandoned it, half full, at the bar before heading to the iPads where I could make my selection. Flipping through who was working for the night, I searched for her face. An urgency I couldn’t explain hit me. An excitement I hadn’t felt before lit a fire through me. I needed to watch her tonight. Watch her do anything as I wrapped my fist around my cock, imagining it was her, until I came.
When I found her picture, an asterisk stood beside it and my chest deflated. The asterisk was to let people know that she was no longer able to perform for the night. Fuck. Had I just missed her last performance? Had I missed my chance for the night?
Squeezing my sweaty palms into fists, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This wasn’t me. I didn’t let such strong emotions carry me away and affect my body like they were now. Another deep breath and I swiped my palms against my slacks. Then I opened my eyes and looked down one last time at her seductive eyes in the picture.
Continuing to swipe, I decided to find someone else to watch. I needed something harsh and angry to get some of the added frustration out that had suddenly taken over. I didn’t want the tediousness and teasing of BDSM, just rough. Finding a couple, I marked my preferences, noting that I’d be observing from the private room behind the one-way mirror.
Having made my choice, satisfaction rushed to the base of my spine, hardening my cock even more.
Reed could comment all he wanted about my sex life, but I had a plethora of options laid out before me.
Who cared that I couldn’t bring myself to do any of them?
4
Oaklyn
I’d never masturbated so much in my entire life as I had in the past two weeks. Each time seemed more intense than the last. Charlotte was right, the first time was the hardest, and it got better from there. She’d laughed and said, “I told you so,” when she saw me filling all three performance slots every night I worked.
A lot of clients had been similar to the first, only wanting the illusion of peering into something hidden, without actually seeing everything. But then there were some that wanted me topless and playing with my nipples, or not wearing any panties, or using a vibrator or dildo. Sometimes, I lay completely naked, exposed to whoever watched me or under the spray of the shower. Whatever they requested. My heart seemed to beat the fastest when they were completely hidden behind the dark glass in the connecting room.
Tonight felt different though, and feeling brave I’d left the option open to work with Jackson. Not that I was sure I’d take it, but I did it anyway, just to see how it would feel to have the option. So far no one had asked, and I felt both happy and sad about it.
The night had been pretty slow. People were probably still recovering from New Year’s Eve a few days ago, but it looked to be picking up when I rounded the corner from the back carrying the box of napkins Charlotte had asked me to get for her.
Good. I needed the distraction. The holidays had been hard this year because I couldn’t afford to go home. I loved Christmas with my whole extended family and watching National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation alone on my couch had been depressing. My parents had called, and everyone wished me a Merry Christmas, but it almost made it worse.
I had to pull back from talking to my parents after that. I didn’t want to resent them for the current situation, but I did, and showing how mad I was wouldn’t help anything. I knew they were sorry. I knew they would take it back if they could. I knew, and it didn’t help calm me at all. Instead, I’d rather avoid them. At least for now.
And it was the new year. I’d start school soon and that was the biggest positive to focus on. I was achieving my goals, no matter what. That was my silver lining. Reaching the bar with a new resolve to focus on the positive, I set the napkins down with a smile.
Looking up, I noticed a man with a dark head of hair at the far end of the bar. He jerked away when I noticed him. Intrigued, I wondered if he’d been watching me. Maybe he’d be the one to request me tonight. The idea sent a thrill of excitement zipping through my body. He seemed large under the dim lights. I could see the breadth of his shoulders, straining against his charcoal suit, and how he sat farther above the bar top than the other men sitting around him.