His jaw tightened and he moved away and reached for a bottle-opener. ‘This thing between us…’ he stabbed the cork viciously ‘…isn’t going to go anywhere, Lara.’
So he wasn’t denying that the chemistry existed. She made a noise that was something between a whimper and a laugh. ‘That’s fine by me. I’m off to Australia in a month and a broken heart isn’t on my Christmas list.’
He yanked the cork out of the bottle with more force than was necessary and turned to face her, his expression serious. ‘So that’s settled, then.’
‘Yes.’ Her eyes met his and they stared at each other for a long moment. Ignoring her shaking legs, she walked over to the table. ‘It would make the process easier if I could find a major flaw in you. Usually I manage it without any help but with you—I don’t know, I seem to be struggling.’
‘I’d be happy to help.’ He lifted two glasses out of the cupboard, the tension visible in his shoulders. ‘What sort of flaw are you looking for?’
‘Anything, as long as it’s big and seriously off-putting. OK, let’s try something. Here’s a question for you. If I handed you a large bar of chocolate, would you eat some of it or all of it?’
‘It depends on how hungry I was.’
‘Perfect answer!’ She felt a rush of relief and sat down on the nearest chair. ‘You’ve just revealed a major flaw because I’d eat the whole thing even if I was completely full to bursting. Restraint when it comes to chocolate is a major flaw as far as I’m concerned. You’re
sunk. We’d never be happy together.’
He put the glasses and the wine down on the table. ‘Do you always look for flaws in men?’
‘Not intentionally. They just sort of jump out at me. According to my mother, I’m just too fussy, but I don’t see how you can be too fussy, do you? I mean, there’s no point in spending the rest of your life with a man who makes you shudder, is there?’
Christian gave a faint smile as he poured the wine. ‘I think you’re right to be fussy. It’s easy to make a mistake.’ He handed her a glass. ‘And then other people suffer.’
Was that what had happened to him? Had he made a mistake? ‘I don’t think your girls are suffering. I think you’re a fantastic father and they’re jolly lucky to have you,’ she said softly. ‘And now let’s eat. I can’t have a conversation as deep as this on an empty stomach and the casserole is getting cold.’
Without giving him the chance to answer, she spooned casserole onto his plate, trying to slow the thud of her heart.
When she’d suggested moving in, it hadn’t occurred to her for a moment that she’d find it as difficult as this. She never found men irresistible. Never.
It was just because he was keeping his distance, she thought dryly as she put a baked potato on her plate. If he’d shown anything less than iron self-control, she would have been the one backing off.
He watched her for a long moment. ‘Do you always say exactly what’s on your mind?’
‘Almost always. It’s my biggest failing. I find it impossible to think one thing and say another.’ She shrugged. ‘My mother thinks I’ll never find a man until I learn not to talk so much. Which basically means that I’m doomed.’
‘You’re obviously close to your family.’
‘Very.’ She put a knob of butter on her baked potato and watched while it melted. ‘We grew up on a farm in a pretty corner of Dorset where everyone knew everyone. London has been quite a culture shock for me. Everyone lives parallel lives. No one notices or cares what anyone else is doing.’ And she’d never quite got used to being so far from her family.
‘How long have you worked here?’
‘Two years.’ Lara added some broccoli to her plate. ‘I moved because I wanted the experience of working in the emergency department of a big London teaching hospital. There aren’t that many shootings and stabbings in my part of Dorset and our idea of an RTA is a tractor colliding with a hedge. What about you? Why did you move hospitals?’
‘The post was too attractive to turn down. The facilities are amazing and there was an opportunity to do research alongside my clinical responsibilities.’
‘In other words, extra work.’
‘Something like that. And I thought the change might be good. This casserole is great.’
Lara speared a piece of meat with her fork and studied it. ‘I probably should have warned you that generally I’m not very domesticated. I’m very untidy and I’m blind to the presence of dirt or dust, but I like my food, so I made sure that I learned to cook. My mother is a wizard in the kitchen.’
‘You mentioned that your parents are in France.’
‘Yes, they have a house in the Dordogne and they’ve been spending more and more time there. I suppose they thought that with Tom in Australia and me in London, they may as well go to France over Christmas.’ She pushed away the faint feeling of sadness. ‘What about your family? Will they join you over Christmas?’
‘No.’
She waited for him to say more, but he carried on eating. ‘That’s it?’She raised her eyebrows. ‘That’s all you’re going to tell me about your family?’