Melly was shivering. “Please may we have hot chocolate?”
Melly, ever the princess, and ever well mannered.
“You may. Wash your hands and sit at the kitchen table. Hot chocolate coming up!” Beth looked at
Posy, who had just come in through the door, bringing with her a flurry of snowflakes. “Thank you. You’re a brilliant aunt.”
“It’s great to spend time with them. And now I need to get to the café before Duncan resigns. I’m already late. Will you be all right?”
Beth noticed that her sister seemed distracted. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I know you and Jason have things to catch up on.”
“It will be fine.”
“You could always ask Hannah to babysit.”
“She’s not going to want to do that.”
Posy knocked the snow off her boots. “Does she seem okay to you?”
“Yes. Why wouldn’t she be? What do you mean?”
“Nothing.”
Beth glanced toward the door. “I know she’s in her room, but that’s not abnormal.”
“No.” Posy eased her feet out of her boots. “I’m sure you’re right. Okay, then, girls, take good care of Bonnie for me and I will see you later. Get Mommy to bring you to the café and I will save two of the biggest slabs of chocolate cake you have ever seen.”
The girls cheered and Bonnie barked and wagged her tail.
Later, much later, after a day of hot chocolate, stories by the fire and a trip to Café Craft that left both children almost dizzy with excitement, Beth tried to settle the children down. They were bathed, fed, and she was hopeful of snatching a moment with Jason before dinner.
Force of habit made her clear the bathroom. She swept the bath of ducks and Ruby’s favorite squeaky alligator, put the towels on the heated rail to dry and closed the door.
She was about to walk back into the bedroom the girls shared when she heard Ruby’s voice.
“I don’t want Mommy to ever leave us again.”
Beth froze. Guilt thudded into her so hard it felt as if someone had kicked her in the chest.
She felt as if she was being torn in two. Who was it that said you couldn’t have it all? They’d been right. How did you tell a four-year-old you adored that she wasn’t enough? That her mother wanted more. And how was she going to focus on work if she was feeling guilty about the girls all the time?
She put her hand to her mouth. She needed to go into that room, smile like the mommy Ruby knew and reassure her. She couldn’t let her feelings show. Ideally she would have taken a minute to pull herself together, but there was no time for that. There was no way Jason would be able to handle a difficult question like that on his own.
And then she heard his voice.
“Sit down, Ruby.”
“Want Mommy.”
“Mommy is busy right now, and I need you to stop wriggling and listen to me. Remember what you’ve been learning this week at school? We talked about it. Listening. I need you to do that now.” He was calm, but firm, and Beth wasn’t the only one surprised by the strength of his tone.
Ruby was, too.
Through the crack in the door Beth saw her daughter sit down heavily on the floor, her mouth closed and her eyes wide as she waited.
“Good girl.” Jason joined her on the floor, folding his length into the small space between the bed and the wall. “You want Mommy to be there for you every minute of the day, and I understand that.”