he wasn’t interested in her any more. Their marriage had worn itself out. He was an arrogant, selfish, macho workaholic who suited himself in life and clearly he didn’t love her any more. If he’d loved her, he never would have let her leave.
As they drove deeper into Cumbria she saw the fells rise under a crown of snow and felt the tension leave her. The winter winds had dragged the last of the leaves from the trees and the sky was grey and menacing but it was wild and familiar. It was home.
Why, she wondered, had she thought that she could be happy in London? She’d never been a city girl. For her, life had always been about being outdoors. Being active and close to nature. When Christmas was over, she’d move back up here and find a job in the Lake District. There must be some other department she could work in that didn’t have links with Alessandro. She didn’t have to throw away everything she loved just because their relationship was on the rocks.
She needed to build a new life.
A life that didn’t include Alessandro.
‘Mum?’ Ben’s little voice whined from the back of the car, disturbing her thoughts. ‘Are we there yet?’
‘Nearly. Don’t you recognise those trees?’ Christy changed down a gear and took the sharp turning that led down the lane to the barn.
They’d discovered it during the second year of their marriage. Katy had been a baby and they’d both fallen in love with the potential of the old, tumble-down building bordered by fields and a fast-flowing river. They’d spent the next few years living on a building site while they’d lovingly turned it into their dream home.
And there it was, smoke rising from the chimney like a welcome beacon.
Christy swallowed and slowed the car. Except it wasn’t a welcome, was it? Alessandro didn’t want her any more. He’d made that perfectly clear. For him, their marriage was over. And the fact that they were about to spend three weeks together was everything to do with the children and nothing to do with them.
It was going to be something akin to torture.
She was going to be dignified, she reminded herself as she pulled the car up outside the front of the barn and switched off the engine. They were both civilised human beings. They could spend time together for the sake of their children.
She wasn’t going to lose her temper. She wasn’t going to show him how upset she was. She wasn’t going to reveal that she wished she’d never left. She wasn’t going to cry and most of all she wasn’t going to let him know that she thought about him day and night.
But then the front door was pulled open and all her resolutions flew out of her head.
Alessandro stood there, his powerful, athletic body almost filling the doorway. He looked dark and dangerous and Christy caught her breath, just as she had on that very first day they’d met. One glance at those brooding dark eyes was enough to make her forget her own name. Wasn’t time supposed to put a dent in sexual attraction? she thought helplessly. Wasn’t she supposed to have become bored and indifferent over time? Well, it certainly hadn’t happened in her case. But that was probably because Alessandro was no ordinary guy, she thought miserably as she switched off the engine and tried to slow the rhythmic thump of her heart. He was strong, unashamedly masculine, hotly sexual and almost indecently handsome. The combination was a killer and no woman would ever pass him by without giving a second and third look.
He stood now in his usual arrogant, self-confident pose, legs planted slightly apart, his hair gleaming glossy black in the fading winter sunlight, his shoulders broad and muscular under the thick, ribbed jumper. He wore scuffed walking boots and ancient jeans and she thought, with a lurch of her heart and a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, that he’d never looked more attractive. And she had absolutely no doubt that other women felt the same way.
He was a red-blooded male with a high sex drive and they hadn’t shared a bed for almost two months.
Had he taken a lover?
The thought flew into her head from nowhere and she pushed it away again, too sick at the thought to even dwell on the possibility.
‘Dad!’ Katy and Ben were out of the car before Christy had a chance to get herself together and suddenly she realised that they were doing what she wanted to do. She wanted to run and hug him. She wanted him to tell her that this was all a ridiculous misunderstanding and hear him tell her that everything was going to be all right.
And then she wanted him to take her to bed and fix everything.
But he didn’t even glance towards the car. He just hugged the children and fussed over them, which meant that it was up to her to make the first move.
Thank goodness for the children, she thought miserably as she opened her car door. Because of them, they wouldn’t have to spend time as a couple and clearly Alessandro didn’t consider them to be a couple any more.
She strolled over to him, glad of the cashmere jumper. It was cold. Significantly colder than London.
He was still hugging the children but their eyes met over the top of two dark little heads.
‘Christianne.’ His voice was cool, his handsome face blank of expression, and suddenly she wanted to leap at him and claw him just to get a reaction.
How could he seem so indifferent?
How could he call her Christianne in that smooth, formal tone when he only ever called her Christy?
After everything they’d shared—a fierce, perfect passion—how could he be so cold towards her?
‘Alessandro.’ Rat. Snake, she thought to herself. How could you do this to me? To us?