It just seemed like after all we had been through together, it was kind of shitty that I wasn't even going to get to see him once at the end.
As I walked down the hallway, I found myself extremely disappointed in my stupid life. It wasn't at all like things were supposed to be. It
wasn't like a book or a movie; not only was Prince Charming not going to come after me, I wasn't even going to get a goodbye.
That had been part of the "new start" plan anyway, but the reality of it made tears burn behind my eyes.
It seemed I was torn; I wanted my goodbye, and I didn't. I wanted him to make me stay, and I wanted to go.
Maybe I just wanted to see him. Could it be that I just missed him, and before I left I wanted one more glimpse into those beautiful blue eyes? It would have probably only tortured me anyway, I reasoned, made it harder to walk away, but some masochistic part of me didn't care.
"Nikki," I heard as I passed an empty classroom.
I stopped dead in my tracks, and my heart filled up with a bunch of conflicting emotions to the point that I could barely draw a breath.
I turned toward him and saw him leaning against a wall, just inside the door.
"Hey," I said quietly.
"Hey," he returned.
I gravitated toward him, so naturally I stepped inside the classroom with him. It was dark inside, and Derek was still wearing his robe.
"What are you doing in here?" I asked.
Shrugging a little, he said, "Hiding from my stepmom. She won't stop taking pictures."
Nodding, I glanced around the familiar classroom.
It hit me that it was the same exact classroom Derek had pulled me into a lifetime before when I noticed he had yellow shoe laces and freaked out, fearing that he would get Kayla pregnant.
And he thought I was crazy.
"Did your dad get lots of pictures?" Derek asked me, half smiling.
I shook my head. "Just one. He's not really a picture person," I said, for some reason holding up the camera as if me holding it could be considered proof.
"Let me take one," he said, holding his hand out for the camera. "It's graduation, you need a memory."
It shouldn't have made my eyes burn, but they seemed to be doing a lot of that. I forced a smile and handed him the camera.
He raised the camera and brought me into focus, but he must not have been satisfied with the picture I presented because he frowned, saying, "Try not to look like you just lost your best friend. You just graduated high school. Remember all the times we've looked forward to this day? We made it."
"Yeah," I said, nodding. "It's just not how I imagined it."
An impish smile crossed his face and for a moment the twinkle returned to his eyes as he said, "Me and you alone in a dark classroom? Funny, that's exactly how I imagined it."
Even though it made me sad, it also made me chuckle, but when my eyes opened back up I could feel moisture glistening on the surface.
Too late to stop him, he snapped the picture.
The twinkle changed, dulled, and he said, "One more?"
I nodded, and without having to think about it, I said, "Both of us."
He smiled half-heartedly and nodded, stepping forward and wrapping his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close and holding the camera out in front of him, facing us.
I tried to hold my composure, but being that close to him, feeling his arm around me, the warm closeness of his body and the inherent scent of him proved to be too much. I felt the tears trickle over my lower eyelid and make a trail down my cheek. I tried to turn away from the camera, turning my face into his shoulder, my arm naturally winding around his neck.