And he had no fucking idea what to do about it.
Talk to them. It may not work out, but at least you’d know. It’s better than the uncertainty.
“I don’t even recognize you anymore,” Noel complained that evening as they hung out in their favorite pub. “What’s gotten you so mopey?”
“I’m not mopey,” Troy said half-heartedly, looking around the pub without much interest. “I’m just thinking.”
Talk to them. It may not work out, but at least you’d know. It’s better than the uncertainty.
“Right,” Noel said. “You’ve been weird ever since you stopped working for Master Andreas.”
Yulia snorted from Troy’s other side. “You’ve got it all wrong. He’s been weird ever since he started working for Master Andreas.”
“I haven’t,” Troy said listlessly.
“Yeah, totally not moping,” Noel said, exchanging a look with Yulia before shifting his gaze back to Troy. “Come on, spill. Aren’t we your friends?”
“Can a servant have a relationship with a Master?” Troy blurted out before he could stop himself.
He expected puzzled looks but Noel punched the air. “Finally!” he said with a grin before turning to Yulia. “Pay up. You lost.”
Groaning, Yulia touched her chip against Noel’s, clearly transferring credits.
Troy watched them with confusion. “What the fuck?”
Rolling her eyes, Yulia sighed. “You couldn’t have this epiphany five days ago? You’ve just lost me two thousand credits.”
When Troy continued looking at them in confusion, her expression softened. “We’ve been waiting for you to talk to us about it.”
“About what?”
Noel snorted. “About the fact that you’re pining after your ex-employer. Come on, did you think we were that blind? It wasn’t hard to put two and two together. You looked like someone died when you moved out of his house.”
“We’ve been trying to delicately hint at it for a while,” Yulia said, ignoring Noel’s snort and muttered ‘Delicately?’ “But it seemed you weren’t ready to talk about it, so we waited. Some of us are good, thoughtful friends.” The latter was said with a pointed glare at Noel, who just smirked with a shrug.
Troy stared at the brown surface of his beer, not knowing what to say.
“As for your question,” Yulia said. “I did some research—”
“You mean gossip,” Noel cut in.
“I did some research,” Yulia said with an emphasis on the word. “And yes, there are servants in relationships with Masters. It’s pretty rare and it’s not advertised, but it’s not actually forbidden by the Order’s rules.” She grinned. “So you can totally bang your Master or even have kids with him if you want.”
Troy nearly laughed. It wasn’t exactly a question of what he wanted. Did Andreas want the same? He doubted it. If he did, he wouldn’t have let him go so easily. Or would he?
Talk to them. It may not work out, but at least you’d know. It’s better than the uncertainty.
Troy gulped his beer down.
Fuck it. He was so sick of it. Sick of his own indecision, insecurity—and yes, sick of his moping. This wasn’t him. He’d always prided himself on being confident and decisive. So what if he felt completely out of his depth in this situation? What was the worst that could happen? He would get his heart broken—and he would be utterly humiliated—but Eridan was right: at least it would be some real closure instead of this uncertainty. He would suck it up and pick himself up eventually. He always did.
Feeling a lot better now that he’d made the decision, Troy got to his feet.
“Where are you going?” his friends said.
Troy gave a chuckle. “To make a fool of myself, probably.”
And before his friends could question him further, he walked out.
It was a chilly evening, but he could barely feel it.
He didn’t even remember how he’d gotten to the Masters’ district. Before he knew it, he found himself standing in front of the familiar mansion. He stared at its majestic facade, feeling a strong sense of deja vu. Just a little over a year ago, he had stood in front of this house, feeling nervous and uncertain just like this—though for entirely different reasons. It felt like it had been a different life. A different him.
Maybe it had been.
Taking a deep breath, Troy pressed the buzzer.
“State your name and business,” the AI said.
Troy swallowed. “Troy,” he said. “Please tell Master Andreas that I’d like to talk to him—if he’s alone.”
The sudden thought that Andreas might not be alone made him feel sick to his stomach. He wasn’t sure how he would react if he saw Andreas with another pleasure servant. Though, no, he knew how he would react: he would turn around and leave, because that would be the answer to the question he wanted to ask. If Troy was so easily replaceable, then it wasn’t even worth asking the question.
“One moment, please,” the AI said before going silent.
Seconds dragged by, excruciatingly slowly.
At long last, the gate clicked open.