I pull out of the garage and onto the street. It’s only a matter of minutes before I’m on the highway, heading toward San Diego. The day is going to be hot, and the farther south I go, the warmer it is. In hindsight, my car would’ve been smart for the air-conditioning.
You might think this is the time to go through my thoughts and figure out what I’m going to say to Kim, but all I can come up with is “I’m sorry.” It’s not going to be enough, I know that, but everything else is failing me right now. I never should’ve left her side last night. I weave in and out of traffic, pissing off other motorists, but I’m determined to get to her before it’s too late.
Too late for what? That’s what I don’t know. I thought professing my love for her would be enough to prove to her that I want to be in a relationship with her and only her. If it’s not, I don’t know what else I can do.
When I see her exit ahead, I accelerate, willing to push the speed limit. I have to try to find the ranch from memory, since I really don’t want to stop and ask for directions. After half an hour of searching, I finally find the road that leads to the center.
The parking lot is full; it must be family day. I can only hope that her patient has someone visiting. I park my bike, remove my helmet, and head in.
“I need to see Kimberly, please,” I tell the receptionist, who asks me to give her a minute. I tell her I’ll be outside waiting, and she nods. I look up at the bright blue sky and think about how Kim and I could be somewhere out on the boat, having a good time, but no, I’m here trying to win back the woman I love because of a mistake that I didn’t even make.
“Bodhi, you shouldn’t be here,” Kim says from behind me, as if I’m not welcome or I’m breaking some sort of rehab law. I’d laugh at the ridiculousness of such a law if her voice wasn’t flat and nothing like the sound I’m used to.
I turn and look at her, but she’s focused on the ground. “You have to let me explain, Kimberly,” I plead.
“I need to work,” she says without looking at me.
I step to her and gently lift her chin so she’s looking at me. “You had today and tomorrow off. Don’t try to lie to me.”
“I’m not the liar.”
“I’m not either.”
“I don’t date drug users.”
“Good thing I’m clean.”
She sighs and says, “I don’t date cheaters.”
“Well, it’s a good thing I’m not a cheater, then. Kim, that shit you saw last night wasn’t my doing. When you went to the bathroom, she used that as an opportunity to put GHB in my water.” I step closer and grab her hands. “Kimberly, look at me.”
She doesn’t, and I know there isn’t anything I can do about it.
“I wouldn’t hurt you. These past few days have been the best days of my life, and I wouldn’t trade those for anything, definitely not drugs. You’re my high, baby. I don’t need anything else as long as I have you.”
“Did you sleep with her?”
“I did not, except she slept in my bed last night. I thought she was you, and when my dad was yelling at me this morning I kept telling him that you were sleeping—until he pulled the blanket off her and I saw that it wasn’t you. I threw up just from the thought that I hurt you. Please say you’ll come back with me.”
Tears well up in her eyes, and as she blinks they start to fall. She shakes her head, telling me everything I need to know. Slowly I ste
p away from her, putting enough space between us so that an onlooker would think we’re acquaintances and nothing more.
“So this is it? You don’t believe me, and you’re not willing to accept the fact that the only mistake I made last night was not following you to the bathroom?”
When she doesn’t say anything, I have my answer.
“Thanks for nothing, Kim.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” She follows me to my bike. “You cheated on me.”
“The fuck I did. I was fucking drugged by a damn sociopath, and I came down here to tell you that. If I wanted her or wanted to be high, I would just do it.”
She blanches at my words, but at this point I don’t care. She doesn’t trust me, that much is clear, and once trust is broken there really isn’t a way to get it back. I can’t live a life where she’s second-guessing everything I do, and she shouldn’t live that way either.
Chapter 25
Kimberly