“What’s so funny?”
“I’m just thinking that I’m about to go crazy if we’re on this bus any longer.”
“We need a spa day when we get back to New York.”
“Definitely.”
“I slept with Cole,” I blurt out. Alex doesn’t look shocked at all. Am I that easy to read?
“I figured it was just a matter of time.”
“What’s that mean?” I ask. I bring my knee up under my leg and face her. She mimics my position.
“Cole’s good-looking, you’re beautiful and you’ve had to pretend you’re in love. It was bound to
happen. I guess it would be different if you fought all the time, but you don’t. He protects you. I think he’s still in love with you.”
“But I love Ryan.”
Alex shakes her head. “Do you? Or are you in love with the idea of someone like Ryan? Someone who isn’t part of your world?”
I sit back and ponder what she’s saying. She knows me better than anyone else, so why can’t she see that I’m in love with Ryan.
“I thought you liked Ryan?”
Alex smiles, but shakes her head. “I do, but if you were in love with him, you would’ve fought for him. There wouldn’t be a no-contact order and you wouldn’t try to call and text him when you think we’re all asleep. You need to let him go.”
I look up at her sharply. She shrugs.
“You’re not as sneaky as you think you are, Miss Carter.”
“Whatever,” I mutter. I lean over and rest my head in her lap. “I’m so messed up, Alex. I think I need some professional help.”
Alex runs her fingers through my hair. It’s calming and helps me relax. I do need help, but at what cost? Alex is right. I need to let Ryan go and move on. I just don’t know how. I promised myself after Cole that my heart would always be guarded. That I’d never let anyone in again and then I met Ryan and things changed.
Things could’ve been perfect.
CHAPTER 39
Ryan
“Shit, shit, shit,” I say under my breath as I jump into my pants. Dylan is scrambling to put on her shorts and a t-shirt all while trying to fix her hair. I high tail it out of her room and down the hall to mine, shutting the door quietly. My heart is pounding. I can feel my pulse trying to break out of my skin. My hands are shaking from nerves. I can’t believe her parents are home. They were supposed to be having dinner and catching a movie. That should’ve given us at least three hours. They weren’t even gone for one.
This is not good.
I sit on the bed and wait. Mr. and Mrs. Ross are walking down the hall. I jump when they slam their door. I’m afraid to move. My nerves are shot. I know Mr. Ross is going to burst in here any moment now and kick my ass out for having sex with his daughter… under his roof. I don’t even know why I ran to my room. I could’ve sat down at Dylan’s desk and pretended to study. I guess it’s better than thinking I had to jump out of the window. Instead I’m sitting here, in my jeans with no boxers on because they are on Dylan’s bedroom floor where she flung them. To make matters worse, I’m still wearing a used condom.
How did she even know they were home? She all but threw me off of her and whisper yelled at me to get dressed. I definitely wasn’t listening to anything but her. I was trying to satisfy her and do what she liked. I’m going to have to ask her because if she’s not into it, I… I don’t know what. I do know I need to get to the bathroom and take care of things. I’m getting a bit uncomfortable sitting here in my jeans.
“Ugh!” I rub my hand over my face. I can’t stand it anymore. I get up and throw open my bedroom door and startle Mrs. Ross. She jumps, bumping her head on the wall. “Crap,” I say as I reach for her. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, you just scared me. I figured you were sleeping like Dylan.”
She’s sleeping? How can she pretend to be sleeping when her parents almost caught us? “I was just gonna take a shower.” Yeah, that’s what I’m going to do.
Mrs. Ross’s smile drops when she looks at my bare chest. I should’ve probably grabbed a t-shirt. I try to cover myself when her eyes look at me sharply.
“Since when do you have a girlfriend?”