But I don’t do that. Not today.
“I figured I’d be able to run into the store, grab something from the bakery, pick up some flowers and get Katelyn her favorite wine from when we were in school.
“As soon as I got to the check-out I began to realize my mistake. No disguise. No fake eyeglasses or hat to pull down over my eyes. The young cashier took one look at me and she knew. Before it was even my turn, she had already texted someone and I knew I was doomed.”
“‘Sorry about your friend’ was all she said while she scanned my items a bit too slowly. When I pulled up in front there were these girls right behind me, following me in.” I throw the ball back to Nick who just shakes his head. “This is the last thing I wanted for Katelyn, especially today.”
“Does it happen a lot?”
I take off my jacket and unbutton my shirt so I don’t ruin it. Noah’s eyes stare at the tattoos on my arms and I wonder if I’ll ever be able to sit down with him and have a conversation. Tell him about me and maybe have a relationship with him.
“I don’t go out much when I’m home. It will happen on tour, but I’m not in one place long enough for it to really matter.”
I can feel people staring at me; it’s something I’m used to, but here it seems odd. When I look over at the patio Josie is standing there. All five foot nine of her, add a few inches with her heels. She’s kept herself looking good after high school, her legs look toned and her stomach still as flat as I remember. Nick clears his throat in the background and I can’t help but laugh. I’d be doing the same thing if someone was ogling my girlfriend, but he forgets that I had her first.
“Wanna go put on a little skirt and cheer for us, Josie?” her face falls and I know she didn’t enjoy my little joke. I try to laugh it off, but she’s not buying it. She looks at Nick who is furious with me and shakes her head. I watch as she walks back into the house, her ass looking as tight as ever. I shake my head to clear the memories that were about to start creeping in.
“Mr. Westbury, do you still play football?” I peel my eyes off the retreating backside of my ex to look at my son. I want to reach out and touch him, run my hands through his hair and ask him every conceivable question known to man, but I don’t. I need to talk to Josie so we can figure this shit out. If she thinks I’m going to forget that he exists, she has another thing coming.
“Nah, I don’t have much time. What about you, do you play?”
He nods furiously and points to Nick. “My dad, Nick, coaches my team.” I’ve been pretty relaxed with him dating Josie because I gave her up. I don’t have much say, but my son calling him dad? I can’t have that. I wasn’t told that I had a son. If I had I would’ve been here.
“Is that so?” I ask pushing down the anger that is boiling. I know I can’t fault the kid for calling Nick ‘dad,’ it’s my fault, but Josie shouldn’t allow it. She knows that I would’ve been here if I knew about him. We talked about kids all the time, we both wanted them, so it’s not like I would’ve bailed on her.
Even if I did the unthinkable and left her, it’s not like I didn’t love her. Leaving her broke my heart too.
Noah nods and seems very excited to tell me about Nick even if I don’t want to hear it. “I play quarterback. That was your position and your record still stands from when you were in high school. No one is even close to breaking it, at least that's what uncle Mason said.”
I crouch down and look at Noah and smile. I smile at the thought of Noah calling Mason his uncle. The football player in me is excited that he loves the game. I loved the game at his age and wanted to play all the time. The adult in me hopes that Josie has him in other activities because there is so much more to life than football.
“Do you have a three or a five step drop?” I ask, curious just how much Nick has taught him.
“I have both, would you like to see?” he asks eagerly. I hold out the football for him to take, watching as he grips the laces like he was born to be a quarterback.
“Here it comes, Nick,” he yells and I’m taken back by the fact that he didn’t call him dad. I watch both routines and notice that he’s a natural, much better than I was at his age. I can only hope Josie lets him make the best decision for his life unlike my father. I’d hate for him to resent her and not have a relationship with his parents over a life altering decision.
When I think of my parents I wonder if they know Noah. Are they a part of his life? Have they been watching my boy grow up without me?
“Wow, you’re so much better than I was at your age.”
Noah smiles and when he does he looks just like Josie. “Thanks. My mom says I’m a natural and that it’s in my blood.”
“Yeah, I think your mom is right.”
Nick walks off, leaving Noah and I to talk. I ask him if he wants to sit down and maybe eat some lunch and he agrees. We stand next to each other and I watch what he puts on his plate. He piles it high with veggies, crackers, cheese and some pasta dish. I add everything that he does because those are all my favorite foods too.
There are chairs set up outside and, even though it’s a crisp day, the sun is providing just enough heat that we can sit out here and relax.
“So, what’s it like to be famous, Mr. Westbury.” I stiffen at 'mister'. In fact, I hate it. And I hate that he asked about being famous because I never wanted to be famous. I just wanted to make music. I wanted to try my hand at something different just to see if I could succeed.
“You can call me Liam,” I reply. “And being famous is okay. I work hard and sometimes I’m away from where I live for a long time.”
“My friend Johnny says rock stars have like twenty girlfriends and you came with three girls. Are they yours?” If I didn’t know better I’d think his mother put him up to this.
“No, I don’t have a girlfriend or a wife. I have a cat, but he doesn’t like me too much.”
Noah starts laughing, his legs swinging on the chair. I want to reach out and put my hand on his knees just like I used to do Josie. Although she’s so tall she could only do this from the tailgate on my truck.