I gently lay my head on her stomach and watch the rise and fall of her chest. I knew this time would come, but I never expected it to arrive so soon. I don’t care how much faith you carry within yourself, once you hear the word cancer you fear the end. Even the most positive people, like my mother, accept the reality of the situation. It’s a horrible disease that rips families apart, both emotionally and physically. And right now it’s killing me inside.
My mom stirs. I’m by her side so she can see me.
“Ainsley.”
“Hi, Momma,” I say, reverting back to when I was a child and called her that. Sometimes I wish I had never had grown up and stopped using that form of mother, because right now it sounds perfect and has brought a smile to her face.
“I’m ready to go home.”
Her statement isn’t lost on me. While I’m thinking of her condo, I know she’s thinking of another home where she’s no longer in pain, her hair is back, and she’s happy. Unfortunately for me, what’s going to make her happy is going to break my heart.
Chapter 21
Cooper
It’s been a few days since I’ve seen or even spoken to Ainsley. We’ve texted, but she’s been too busy to get together. Truth is, so have I, but that doesn’t stop me from counting down the days until our one day off this month so I can take her on a proper date. The last thing I need is for her to feel like she’s a booty call or that I don’t want anyone to know we’re dating. Hiding out in my bedroom is probably the last thing she wants to do.
Her seat remains empty in the stands. I don’t want to give it to someone in case she can make it, but on the other hand, I’m thankful that she hasn’t been at the games, because I don’t want her anywhere near my father.
The tongue-lashing I received from him the morning after my ejection was enough motivation to keep Ainsley away from him. The last thing I want is for her to be on the receiving end of his tirades. He only sees me for baseball, nothing else. Women are a distraction, and that’s what he’ll tell Ainsley. I want to think that losing my mother really did a number on his romantic side. There has to be a nice guy buried somewhere deep inside.
We’re riding a two-game winning streak and facing the Twins for the fourth time this month. I’ve racked up a whopping two RBIs, and both just happened to be on sacrifice flies. I’ve yet to reach base, and we’re already eight games in. To make matters worse, my average shows a string of zeros when I’m up to bat. Never in my baseball career have I had a batting average of nothing.
When I see my father’s name appear on the screen of my phone, I think about sending him to voice mail, which honestly will only complicate matters. He’s all I have in this world, aside from the team and Ainsley, and whether I like it or not I still need him.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Morning. I’m outside your apartment. Let’s grab breakfast.”
I look over my shoulder and sigh, wishing Ainsley were here so she’d be my excuse not to have to deal with him today. “I’ll be down in a second.” I hang up without saying goodbye and pocket my phone.
When I get outside, he’s standing next to a cherry-red convertible with a shit-eating grin on his face. He tosses me the keys, which I catch easily.
“You drive,” he says, pushing himself off the car and walking over to the passenger side. The weather is still somewhat mild here so the leather seats aren’t an issue when I slide into the driver’s side.
“Where’d you get this?”
“I’m test driving it for a few days. I think I might move down here. The weather agrees with me.”
I laugh. “Wait until a tropical storm rolls in. You’ll find yourself buying a kayak instead.”
He laughs. I can see him living down here, though. The warm weather will agree with him.
I start the car up and listen to the motor purr. I’ve always said that once I hit it big, I’ll treat myself to something nice, but right now my check is sitting in my bank account just in case the organization changes its mind about me. They have every right to, since I feel like I’m not living up to their expectations.
Once I hit the road, with the wind blowing in our faces, I decide that we don’t need breakfast but instead a nice drive along the coastline.
“You’re distracted,” he says once we’re away from the city noise.
“I’ll be fine.” Those are the same words that Diamond says to me over and over again. I’m trying to believe him, but I’m not so sure.
“Your focus is wrong. Pull off up here,” he tells me as he points to a lookout spot. I do as he says and shut off the car.
“I know I’ve been hard on you, but I’ve seen your potential since high school and only want the best for you. This is your chance, and your mind is elsewhere.”
“It’s on baseball.”
“Maybe part of it is, but the other part is on that woman you’ve been seeing. You’re distracted, and it’s because of her.”