I knew Dax was mixed up in some scary shit, but if my brother trusted him, then he was honorable. I had no doubt Beau no longer trusted anyone he hadn’t thoroughly investigated, not after what had happened with Rob. No matter what kind of villain Dax might be, he was nothing like my fucking ex—if I could even really call Rob that. I’d thought he was my boyfriend, but all he did was use me. How had I not seen how evil he was sooner?
The smell of sausage frying brought me back to the present. Rob was gone; Beau had seen his body. I had a chance to reconcile with my brother. I was safe, and I was about to eat a delicious meal cooked for me by a gorgeous man. Maybe I could just enjoy this day, even if I couldn’t let myself get too comfortable here.
Beau thought I was nervous about staying with Dax. I was, but it had nothing to do with me doubting I could trust him or that he would take care of me. I’d been taking care of myself for a long time, often while living with untrustworthy men. I was nervous around Dax because the second I saw him, everything I’d thought and felt about him the last time I had seen him came rushing back stronger than ever. Dax was way out of my league, and I needed to focus on getting my life together.
I had no job and nowhere to live now that I’d skipped out on work and rent. I didn’t want to go back to the family shack in the bayou, even if Beau would let me. I wasn’t even sure who it belonged to—him, both of us, or someone else.
When I entered the kitchen, Dax was facing the stove. He had pancakes sizzling on a griddle and sausage in a pan. As good as it smelled, all I wanted to eat up was Dax. His hair was still damp from his shower. He was wearing a pair of sweat shorts and a t-shirt that clung to every muscle of his arms and back. Part of me wished he’d left it off, and part of me knew if he had I might not be able to stop myself from walking up behind him and running my hands over the lines of his back. Jesus, I wanted to know if he felt as good as I thought he would.
I wished I had something better to put on instead of the ratty sweats I’d chosen and the white t-shirt that had once been Beau’s. I’d borrowed it a few months before I’d helped Rob set my brother up to go to prison. The worst fucking day of my life, except for… No. I didn’t need to think about either of those things.
I probably looked like a kid in the oversize t-shirt, but that was for the best. If Dax thought about me as the kid he’d once known, he’d keep his distance. He wouldn’t look at me the way he had earlier and make me think maybe a man like him could want me. I was way too fucked up for that.
Dax glanced over his shoulder and smiled. “You look like you feel a lot better.”
“The shower was nice. Even your bathroom is vintage.”
The look of it is, but that room used to be two closets. The house only had one bath, and I wanted a second one. My bathroom has an original claw foot tub. You should try it out one day.”
I couldn’t imagine soaking in his tub without thinking of him in there with me. Heat filled my cheeks, and Dax turned back to the stove.
“This will be done soon. Have a seat. I made coffee, but you need to sleep, so maybe—”
“I’m still having coffee.”
“No.”
“You can’t tell me what to drink. I’ll have a horrible headache if I don’t get some caffeine. I haven’t slept well in weeks, years really, so what difference will it make?”
He whipped around and glared at me. “Getting good sleep matters. You need to take better care of yourself.”
I snorted. “I was trying to keep myself alive.”
“You don’t have to worry about that now. I’m here to protect you, so it’s time for you to think about your future. What do you want to do?”
“Wow, that’s a heavy question after the night we’ve had.” And one I didn’t want to answer because Dax was going to be all encouraging, but it wasn’t what I wanted. Reconciling with Beau would be nice, but I wasn’t sure that was possible, and if not, I wanted to slink away and hide. I didn’t want more trouble or excitement or anything that would make me hurt like I had when I set Beau up or when I thought he was going to die tonight. “Can we just eat?”