“Rob took advantage of that, and he hurt you.”
“He…” I squeezed my eyes shut. “I can’t… I don’t want to talk about it.”
Dax rubbed my arm. His touch was warm and soothing. “It’s okay. You don’t have to.”
I nodded, keeping my eyes closed.
“I’m sorry. I want to help you, but I’m fucking all this up,” Dax said. “I wanted you to know. I wanted to talk about it so you wouldn’t feel so… guilty, but I don’t know shit about talking about stuff like this. I try to ignore my feelings as much as I can.”
As upset as I was, he made me smile. “You don’t ignore them all the time or you wouldn’t be so kind to people.”
“Not many people see me that way.”
I met his gaze. No way in hell was I letting him get away with that. “If I can’t put myself down, you can’t either. “
“Travis, I torture people. That’s my job.”
“And I…”
Dax studied me for a moment. “What? Tell me.”
I didn’t finish my thought. Instead, unexpected words spilled out of me. “Rob told me I could either set Beau up to go to prison, or he’d send someone to kill Beau. I knew Rob had the kind of friends that could pull that off. I chose the option that kept my brother alive, but if I’d just been stronger, if—”
“What do you think would’ve happened to you if you’d refused to do what Rob said?”
“Maybe he would’ve killed me, maybe something worse, but I could’ve tried.”
I’d been holding back my tears, but they spilled over when Dax looked at me with deep sadness in his eyes. I wanted to run, but I wasn’t sure I had the strength, and I thought I might pass out if I tried to stand up, so I curled into a ball. Dax wrapped his strong arms around me and held me while I sobbed.
When the tears finally stopped flowing, I knew I was eventually going to have to uncurl myself and convince Dax to let me leave. He released me as soon as I started to move, and I scooted back on the couch, wanting to put some distance between us. It would be too easy to beg him to hold me again and to ask him to protect me from Rob’s former associates who wanted to take their anger out on me. Now that Dax and his family—and probably Beau—knew about Rob, I couldn’t stay. They would pity me, and that was worse than them thinking I was a selfish piece of shit.
“Tell me what I can do to help you,” Dax said.
“Let me go.”
“No, you’re in danger. That’s another thing Remington learned.”
“I’ll take care of it.”
“Damn it!” I looked up when Dax yelled. “You know LePlatt is after you, and you were going to walk away?”
“Yes, because I don’t intend to bring any more trouble down on Beau or your family.”
“You think these enemies of Rob’s won’t know your connection to Beau? Do you think they won’t know that coming for him is another way to hurt you? You’re better off if you stay here and we handle this together.”
“I don’t…” I’d reached a point where I wasn’t beholden to anyone. Sure, my life was kind of shitty. I didn’t have much, and my job—former job—sucked, but I was handling things myself. “I don’t want to owe your family. I know how this works.”
“No, I don’t think you do. Beau is family now. He practically was before, but now that he and Corbin are together, he’s one of us, and that makes you one of us too.”
“No. That’s… You don’t owe me anything. I don’t want to be…”
“Like me?”
Was he serious? “I’d give anything to be as good as you.”
“Damn it, Travis. You aren’t bad. You were manipulated and abused.”
I sighed.
“Travis.”
His rough tone made me look up. When our eyes met, I sucked in my breath. The way he was looking at me with such intensity made me dizzy. I swayed, and he wrapped his hands around my upper arms.
“Are you all right?” Before I could answer, he laughed at himself. “That’s a stupid question. How could you be when I brought all this up?”
“I’ll be fine.”
“I know you will, but it would be a lot easier if you’d let your friends help you.”
“Are you my friend, Dax?”
“Always.”
“Then why don’t you let me—”
He pressed a finger to my lips. “I want to protect you.”
“Why?”
“Because…”
My breath caught, and I swear my heart stopped. The way he was looking at me then, like he wanted me, not like a brother, not even like a friend… He looked hungry. Heat rushed over me, but I stayed completely still, waiting.
Dax ran his finger over my lower lip, and without thinking, I licked the tip of it. He groaned and cupped the back of my neck, pulling me toward him.