“Oh, for Pete’s sake, Killian. I’m not in the habit of being naked in the kitchen, so yes, I had my clothes on,” I snap, shaking my head.
“I’m making it a goal to get you naked in the kitchen,” he responds, grinning, his anger all but forgotten.
“You’re insane,” I complain, rolling my eyes.
“Yeah, I could be, but it's because you’re making me that way.” He walks over to the tub, kneeling next to it. Water sloshes around as I pull back suddenly.
“What are you doing?”
He reaches for a cup that I perched on the edge of the tub. He starts the faucet, filling the cup with fresh water as he adjusts the temperature.
“I’m going to wash your hair,” he says.
“But I’m naked.”
“Oh, I’m very aware of how naked you are, little one.”
“Killian—”
“Don’t worry, honey. I may need you more than I’ve ever needed anything or anyone in my life, but you’re in no shape to take me the way I want you right now.” My eyes go round with his words.
“Maybe if you’re really careful,” I suggest because I want to be with him. I have no idea when we will get the chance to share a bed again—one far away from the prison. The truth is that I don’t want to wait.
“I can’t, Belle. I'd rather cut off my hands than hurt you. I can wait.”
“I don’t want to,” I mutter stubbornly, making him laugh. “You also have a weird fascination with cutting off hands. I’m wondering if I should be worried.”
“Hush that pretty mouth before I forget you’re injured and spank you for trying to challenge me.”
My insides clench. His words send tingles of excitement through me. With a disappointed sigh, I settle down into the tub low enough for him to start washing my hair. I moan in pleasure as his fingers start to massage my scalp.
“Better than E-Z, Belle?” he asks, making me giggle.
“At the risk of feeding your ego, he’s not even in the same ballpark,” I admit.
The joy in his laugh is the only reward I’ll ever need.
CHAPTER 38
KILLIAN
Lying in bed with Belle tucked into my arms, I can't seem to make myself stop playing with her soft hair. The smell of her coconut shampoo fills my senses. I loved every second of washing her hair. It’s something I’ve never shared with another and I’m glad. I like giving parts of myself to Belle that I never thought I’d share—and hell, if it involves touching Belle, I’m more than ready. It’s all I want to do. As it is, I had to constantly remind myself that she’s hurt. I would be a selfish asshole to try and take her right now. In the past, that wouldn’t have bothered me—but then, no one has mattered like Belle. I’m not an emotional man by any means, but I can admit that freely. I will have to wait until she’s healthy—even if it’s during prison visitation.
Having her right next to me brings home the fact that she was hurt because of me. I didn’t take enough precautions with her. I let her down and didn’t protect her. I could have prevented her pain, and even more than that—I could have prevented her fear. When I came into the bathroom and scared her, I saw the merest glimpse of it. In that moment, if I could have brought Orla’s nephews back to life so I could kill them again, I’d have done it in a heartbeat.
Her pretty face, bruised up, seizes my heart every time I lay my eyes on her. Her ribs are even worse. The ugly purple and blue marks make me realize I should have made Sergei suffer more. I don’t think it hit me how the world I live in would affect her. I failed her and as I look at her tonight, I vow that will never happen again.
"I’m so sorry you were hurt, Belle,” I whisper to her. I know she’s been asleep for a while. I’ve been listening to her breathing turn soft and even as she dozed off. “It’s my fault you were hurt, and I don’t like it.” She starts to squirm in my arms until she rolls over to her side. I suppress a moan. She’s gorgeous, but maybe even more so because she doesn’t realize it.
I shut up immediately, thinking I woke her. I’m slightly alarmed that she might’ve heard my confessions. When she doesn’t say anything and stops moving around, I realize she’s still out of it. I settle her against me, pressing into her, spooning her. The warmth of her body against mine is heaven and hell at the same time. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from moaning out loud.
“Rest easy, little one,” I murmur against her ear. “No one will hurt you. I’m watching over you. You’re safe with me.” I press a kiss to the back of her neck, running my nose through her hair, breathing her in.