He picked up the textphone, which lay beside his chair, and finally managed to prise the cover free. Water dribbled out over his jeans and he brushed it away, sending the drops fizzing into the fire.
Looking up, he realised that she had been watching him and heat started to build in his chest. The thought of her eyes on his hands, his lips, became almost too much to bear and he smiled awkwardly.
‘We’ll leave this open to dry out overnight and try it in the morning. It should be all right.’ It seemed so natural to say we and he liked the fact that she gave the slightest of nods in response, as if she, too, accepted that for tonight at least they were a single unit. For the moment, anyway, she seemed to have abandoned her stubborn independence, melting into the small family by the fireside, somehow making both him and Jack whole again.
She was sipping the small portion of brandy he had allowed her, watching as he laid the phone out to dry by the hearth. ‘So how’s Jack settling in?’
‘It’s early days but he seems to be doing well. He loves being near my parents and his new school is great. I think it’s made a big difference, getting away from the old house. He sleeps a lot better now.’
‘That’s good. A decent night’s sleep always helps you face the day.’
‘Yeah. I used to get up in the middle of the night and find him sitting downstairs, waiting for his mother to come home.’ Matt pressed his lips together. Jack had done that regularly before his mother had died, as well as after.
Her fingers tightened around Jack’s shoulders, as if she wanted to pull him close and hug him but was afraid of waking him. ‘Well, he seems to be ready to talk a little about how he feels. It was a privilege to be there this afternoon.’
‘I’m thankful that you were.’ Matt could see why Jack had opened up to Beth. It was hard not to. But there were things he would never tell anyone, not even if Beth taught him the signs for them.
‘Jack said his mother died in a car accident. I’m sorry I didn’t realise that when I brought him down to see you this afternoon. It must have been a shock to hear that he’d almost been knocked down.’ She twisted her fingers together.
Matt’s heart felt as if it was actually melting. The sensation was an odd one and not entirely pleasant. ‘Thank you, but it’s okay.’ He spread his hands in a gesture of reassurance. ‘He was there with you and I could see he was all right. And my wife wasn’t knocked down by a car. She’d been working away from home for a week and was driving back to London on the Friday evening when her car skidded on a patch of ice on the motorway.’
Beth’s hand flew to her mouth. ‘I’m so sorry. That she never got home.’
She hadn’t been on her way home. She’d been on her way to a hotel, with her lover. Matt swallowed the truth, but couldn’t bring himself to offer up the usual lie. ‘Thank you.’ He opted for a brisk change of subject. ‘It’s getting late. I’d better get this little guy up to bed.’ He rose and lifted the sleeping boy out of Beth’s arms, briefly scenting her hair before he managed to put some space between them again.
Jack stirred and rubbed his eyes. ‘Story, Dad.’
‘You bet. Let’s get you upstairs and we’ll have a story there.’
‘Why not down here?’ Matt knew what Jack was angling for. He wanted Beth to tell him a story.
‘No, mate.’ He retrieved the copy of Robin Hood and his Merrie Men from where Jack had dumped it that morning and tucked it against his chest. ‘Beth probably doesn’t like Robin Hood.’
He could see from her face that she wouldn’t have minded reading Jack’s bedtime story one little bit. He minded, though. Having Beth read to Jack, when his mother had made so little effort to be home in time to do so, would have been like rubbing salt into open wounds.
‘Okay. Just you and me, Dad. The two musketeers.’ Jack snuggled into his chest and the familiar, overpowering need to protect him surged through Matt. He couldn’t risk the possibility of his son going through the pain of abandonment for a second time. He couldn’t take the risk for himself either. As far as Beth was concerned, friendship wasn’t just the best option, it was the only option.
Regret hung in the air for a brief moment, before dispersing under the relentless pressure of his resolve. As if to prove to himself that he could do it, Matt wrenched his gaze away from Beth and then turned, making for the stairs.
CHAPTER FOUR
LEFT alone, Beth collected the mugs and plates from the table by the fire and took them into the kitchen, washing them and putting them away. Walking back into the sitting room, she realised what had seemed odd to her about the place. It was comfortable, practical and quietly stylish but all the furniture seemed new and everything was arranged just so. Apart from a mess of toys and books to one side of the hearth, there were none of the quirky, out-of-place bits and pieces that were collected over time, and which made her own cottage seem like a home.
Almost the only personal things in the room were a group of picture frames grouped on the dresser, and Beth paused to look at them. Matt and Jack. Matt with an older man and woman, and a young woman who was so like him she had to be his sister. She picked up a third picture, one of Jack with a different woman, his arms flung around her neck. The woman was dark, well groomed and looked into the camera with a self-possessed smile that seemed vaguely familiar.
This must be Matt’s wife. The woman who ought to be here with him and Jack, while Beth should be at home, where she belonged. Her fingers trembled as she went to replace the photograph and she started guiltily to find Matt standing beside her.
‘Oh. I’m sorry.’ Once again he had surprised her snooping.
Matt shrugged. ‘What for?’ He picked up the photo and looked at it thoughtfully. ‘That’s Jack’s mother, Mariska.’
Mariska Sutherland. The name rang a bell, too. ‘She was very beautiful.’ She wished that she was not wearing clothes that were at least four sizes too big and feeling unbearably dowdy in comparison.
Matt nodded absently. ‘She was a journalist, and she travelled a lot for her work.’ It was like a well-rehearsed answer to a question she hadn’t even asked.
Beth remembered now. ‘I’ve seen her show. I don’t usually catch daytime TV but I recorded the programme she did on cochlear implants. I thought it was very good—very clear and even-handed.’ All of the air seemed to have been sucked out of the room and she was struggling to breathe, let alone find the right words to say. ‘It must have been a terrible shock to lose her so suddenly.’
Matt gave her an odd look that she couldn’t quite fathom. ‘Yeah. Although she was away from home a lot. In many ways Jack and I were used to being on our own.’ He fixed his eyes on the floor, studying it intently. ‘He went to sleep straight away tonight, though. Stayed awake long enough to ask if you’d be here in the morning and then he was out like a light. I didn’t even get as far as Robin Hood.’