‘That was different and you know it. You were barely conscious and I thought you might die. This is just a sprained wrist.’
The tension in every part of her body told him that this wasn’t ‘just’ anything.
‘A broken wrist.’
‘Fine, Doctor. Whatever you say,’ Jess said, her voice shaky. ‘But don’t call. Please? It can wait until the lane is clear.’
He couldn’t fight her. It wasn’t fair when she was hurt. ‘Okay. Tell me what you need.’
‘A hug?’
Rufus exhaled. That he could do. He knew that they had to end this properly. When they left. But she needed him, and they were here now. He just had to remember that this was his fault. That this was the reason he was going to walk away. Because Jess deserved someone who could be trusted with her. Who made good decisions. Not someone who would let her get injured when they were stranded.
He eased his arms around her gently, pulling her against him, and flinching at her sharply indrawn breath. He’d hurt her—again. Then she relaxed into him and she pressed a kiss to the top of her head. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said into her hair. Jess looked up at him, frowning.
‘What have you got to be sorry for?’
‘This was my idea. If I hadn’t—’
‘This was the best. I mean, injuries notwithstanding, I absolutely loved it. Seriously. Best Christmas present ever.’
He sighed. ‘Yeah, well, all things considered, I’m not sure it was worth it.’
‘Yeah, well, as literally the injured party here,’ Jess said, frowning ‘I’m pretty sure that this is my call, and I say it was absolutely worth it. And I’m hurting, so you’re not allowed to argue with me.’
She turned her face up for a kiss, and he pressed his lips to hers, all the while knowing that deep down he couldn’t agree with her. This was absolutely his fault.
CHAPTER TEN
BLOODY HELL, IT HURT. For a minute she wished she hadn’t been so adamant about Rufus not calling an ambulance. But she had seen that there was no way that the lane would be passable. And now that the latest painkillers were kicking in—and her second glass of red wine—it was bearable. Just. What was less bearable was the sudden distance that she felt from Rufus.
It wasn’t as if in her state she was up for any sort of high jinks. And it wasn’t as if he’d been anything other than perfectly attentive. He’d carried her up the stairs—despite her protestations that it was her arm that was hurt, not her legs, and she was perfectly capable of walking. He’d helped her into her pyjamas, guiding her sleeve over her swollen, bruised wrist, and wincing as if he could feel her pain himself. And then he’d leaned against the headboard, pulled her between his legs, propped her arm up on a pillow, and fallen asleep with his arms wrapped around her waist.
She’d leant into him, soaking in his warmth against the cool of the house as she watched time slip away on her phone as she waited for morning. This was their last night together. And she was spending it in his arms, with him feeling further away from her than he ever had in the time she’d known him. She shifted a little, uncomfortable, and felt Rufus’s arms tighten around her. He didn’t want to let her go, but he would. He had already started to. And that was what they had agreed all along. It was what they both wanted. She had known that this was how it would end. She just hadn’t expected to feel it like this, with him slipping away even as he clung on to her in his sleep.
She couldn’t believe that she had started to think that maybe these feeling they had for each other had a chance outside of this snowbound fairy tale. But he was the kicker. The proof that she wasn’t ready. For any of this. And the proof of what she already knew, that even something that felt perfect could unravel in your hands, quicker than you were able to gather it up. At least she’d found out now. A relationship that couldn’t survive a skating accident was never going to make it in the real world. It was better to know that now.
The sun gradually rose, a shard of pale light around the edges of the curtains. The alarm on her phone chimed—time for more painkillers. Thank goodness, because her wrist was throbbing. She reached for the packet on the bedside table, somehow elbowing Rufus in the stomach as she did so. He sat bolt upright, startled, jarring her wrist, until his eyes focused and then creased with concern.
‘Jess, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?’
‘Fine, fine,’ she said as he took the packet from her, and popped the pills out of the blister pack that she’d been struggling with.
‘So...do you think the roads are clear?’ she asked. If this thing was over, there was no point in dragging it out. It was clear that Rufus wanted it done, and if he was out already, there was no point in sticking around. She knew where that led. Suddenly she was grateful for the lesson her parents had taught her. Sticking around once the light had gone out only made things worse.
She scooted out of bed, swallowed her painkillers with a gulp of water and crossed over to the window, hugging her arm to her chest. Pulling back the curtains, she started at the unfamiliar view. Great swathes of snow had melted, leaving their snowmen stranded in a sea of grass, a reminder of a time when things between them had been full of promise. Well, there was no point thinking about that now. The sun was up. Yesterday was over.
Christmas was over. It was time to get back to real life. And the sooner the better. She flashed back to yesterday morning, watching the ice melt, safe in Rufus’s arms. Well, not today.
‘Snow’s gone,’ she said, turning to look back at him.
‘That’s great,’ he said, standing up.
No need to sound quite so enthusiastic.
‘I meant because we can get your arm seen to...’ So something of what she had been thinking must have shown on her face.
‘Of course.’ She pulled on a jumper, wincing as she pushed her arm through the sleeve, but brushing off Rufus’s offer of help. It took less than an hour for them to pack her things, and then the door was locked, Rufus threw her bag in the boot of her rental four-by-four and they were crunching across the driveway, Upton Manor growing ever smaller in the wing mirror, until they rounded a corner of the lane and it disappeared completely.