“You really love Joel, don’t you?” I glance from him to the street ahead and back. “Really want him, like he wants you.”
“Yeah? I’m not so fucking sure.” Uncertainty crosses his features. “I often think I want… so much more from him.” He snorts. “I want from him what I want from you.”
My heart booms. “I’ve imagined you two like that so often.”
He glances at me, his long lashes throwing shadows on his cheeks. “Like what? Like last night?”
“Yes. I, um… I’ve been writing a story.” Crap, why am I telling him this? Oh God. “Featuring you two. I didn’t really know you back then, so I hope you don’t mind. I’m going to take it down now, though,” I rush on. “Doesn’t feel right anymore. Sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?” He licks his lips, his eyes gleaming. “So is it like… erotic? Do we fuck, all three of us?”
Hearing him saying it like that, crudely, sends fire skittering over my skin and an ache between my legs. “Yeah. We do.”
“And Joel fucks me, too?”
“Oh yeah.” I park the car, my face flaming. “He sure does. As do you.”
“As do I what?”
“You fuck him.” I clap a hand over my mouth, torn between laughing and groaning in mortification. “Oh God, please don’t hate me.”
“Hate you? You’re fucking kidding me.” He leans forward, grips my face and kisses me, hard, though his eyes are laughing. “When can
I read it?”
***
He gets no chance to read it, though, because it’s a busy day and customers file in and out, keeping us on our toes. Plus, he seems distracted. Very, very distracted. He keeps glancing out of the glass storefront at the street, but when I ask if it’s Joel he’s expecting, he shakes his head.
I’m so relieved he’s been so nice about my revelation about my blog, I give him a pass on his crappy mood.
He vanishes during lunch break to the back of the store to make a phone call and doesn’t surface again until later, when I see him help out an old lady who’s apparently looking for a guide to great sex.
“It’s for myself!” she clarifies, loud enough that I hear her across the store.
Well, kudos. I bet my mom would approve, although I snicker at Jet’s blank face as he shows her our selection.
Then Donna draws him aside, her face serious, and to check the sex guides. Jet follows her to her office, his back rigid.
I stare after them, worried. What now?
But with Jet gone, I’m left so busy I don’t have time to think. I see glimpses of him later and try to catch his eye, but he doesn’t seem to notice.
Weird.
Even weirder is that he leaves before me, before, in fact, I even notice he’s gone. I stand still in the empty shop, a strange pain in my heart. This is the time we’ve sat together for a week now, reading together, waiting for Joel to come pick us up. Take us home.
I take out my phone to call Jet, but my finger remains poised over his name. Why should I call him? What’s this—he’s giving me the cold shoulder? Why, after everything we’ve discussed, everything we’ve shared, he won’t come to me and I should run after him?
I’m angry. Oh crap, I’m angry at one of my boys. And scared.
Scared that I misjudged. That I fell too hard.
Then again, I was afraid of that all along. Afraid that, in real life, happy endings aren’t the norm.
Chapter Twenty Nine
JOEL