All this love… I lower my gaze. It’s not that it’s making me jealous. Not really, although I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss going out alone with the girls. Now they’re spending more time with their boyfriends, and that’s great. I’m just… a bit lonely. I wish I had what they have, too.
Crap, they’re all still waiting for me to speak.
“He’s in my biology class,” I manage. “But he’s only made it once so far. And in the cafeteria… Audrey can tell you. He seemed tired. He almost dropped his tray.”
And then a busty, pretty brunette stepped in to help and entertain him. Not me. Never me.
I just want to smash those pretty cherubs hanging over the bar right now. Break them to pieces. Break myself. End this never-ending doubt and misery.
“I bet it’s his dad’s doing,” Zane says, dark eyes scanning the crowd inside the bar. He’s looking for Rafe, who hasn’t arrived yet. “Not a year ago, that fucker left the care of his kids on Dylan’s shoulders and took off, and whenever he’s back he expects to be coddled, fed and cleaned, as well.”
“Dylan’s dad is depressed,” Ash says, over Audrey’s shoulder. “Depression is a sickness. He can’t help it. He needs help himself.”
I knew Dylan’s dad struggled with depression. I thought he was better. Not that Dylan ever talked to me about it.
Goes to show how little I know Dylan anymore.
There was a time I knew everything about him—back when we were fourteen, when he held me in his arms in the evenings and whispered all his thoughts in my ear, about the past, the present and the future. When he clutched my hand as we crossed the street and then as we sat together, our sides touching, our heartbeats synchronized, our lives joined.
After that, after he broke up with me,
we were friends, meeting in parties and going out for drinks with the guys, talking on the phone. But recently… Recently we haven’t even had that. Not for the past year. When his Dad left, Dylan grew distant and cold. Distracted. Angry. Lost.
Too many losses.
“Teo, his little brother has been sick on and off,” Zane says. “Could be the stress from their dad moving out, though it’s been a while since the bastard left. Must be a year now.”
Tyler whistles, his dark brows drawing together. “His brother’s what, five?”
“Six,” Ash says.
“Goddammit. Poor kid.”
Tyler feels strongly when it comes to little kids. His own son is four, and Tyler’s fiercely protective of him, and Erin.
“He has another brother, right?” Audrey asks.
“Miles,” I say, my mind a million miles away. “He’s ten.”
“Still, Dylan doesn’t look as bad as he did two months ago,” Dakota says, and squirms in Zane’s arms until he relaxes his tight hold. She pats his arm absently. “Maybe things aren’t that bad for him right now. He kept his job, didn’t he? The one you were all concerned he might lose?”
There. Dylan’s fine. He doesn’t need me. Not that he ever expressed any need for me, not after he broke up with me so many years ago. If he needs anything, he’s far more likely to ask any of the other guys for help. I’m invisible to him, even when I throw birthday parties for him, or ask about his day, or his classes. He pulled away from everyone—but mostly from me.
“Coming to our concert, Saturday night?” Dakota asks, and it takes me a moment to realize she’s talking to me. “Nine o’ clock, Crow Feet.”
“You should go,” Audrey pipes in. “Quinn really likes you.”
I open my mouth, close it, try again. “Who’s Quinn?”
“Quinn plays the guitar in our group, and he also sings,” Dakota says, shooting Audrey a wide-eyed look.
Yeah, she doesn’t know of Audrey’s conspiracy to find me a guy and make me forget all about Dylan. Audrey wants everyone to be happy.
If only it were that easy…
“Saturday,” I say and then I remember something. “I can’t.”
“Come on, it will be fun,” Ash says.