He waggles his brows, and Mom laughs. I stifle my laughter as I watch them. Their love shines bright, and naturally my thoughts turn to Tyler. He’s my magnetic north and everything I am reaches for him.
Soon. Soon I’ll know if he’ll take me, and Jax. Take us both.
Excitement and nerves make me slightly nauseous. Mom is of course concerned when I refuse to scarf down a huge plate of her creamy lasagna, but I just can’t stomach anything right now.
Dad whispers in her ear, and she smiles.
“What are you telling her?” I put my plate on her bedside table and pretend to glower at them. “What did you tell her?”
“Nothing important.” He grins.
“Traitor,” I mutter, but my mouth twitches. “Well, I guess I should be going.”
Jax is next door, playing with the neighbor’s kids. I hug my parents, give Mom stern instructions to rest and take her pills and go pick my boy up.
When I ring the bell, I can hear his voice mingled with those of the other kids. The neighbor, Nelly, opens the door, stares blankly at me for a long moment and then grins widely.
“Come on in, sweetie. Here for Jax, huh? We didn’t know you were coming.”
I smile and nod—and then crouch and open my arms as a cannonball with Jax’s face careens into me.
I pick him up and spin him around. “Jaxon.”
“Mommy.” He laughs delightedly, and his dark eyes sparkle like jewels.
“Would you like to come with Mommy this weekend?” I put him down and kneel to be his height. “I’ll cook for you, and you will see where Mommy lives and meet her friends.”
He nods, a bit cautiously, but still smiling.
My baby boy. I pick him up again and turn to thank Nelly. Then I bundle him up in his coat and hood and gloves and carry him to the car. As I strap him in the baby seat in the back, I kiss him soundly on his chubby cheek and inhale his sweet scent.
Let’s go find Daddy.
***
On the way, Jax is talking a thousand miles an hour, all of it questions—why I live in another town, why it’s called Madison, why I go to college and why I need a job. Why I have friends and why I want him to meet them, why it’s dark at night and cold in winter, why he has to sit in the back and why his car seat is blue—and then promptly falls asleep.
I glance at him in the rearview mirror from time to time. He’s so cute, with his head tilted to the side, his small mouth half open.
Tyler… Will he be happy to know he has one more person in this world to call his own — a tiny mirror of himself? I can’t help comparing the way they look—their dark locks, their chocolate eyes, their intense brows, their infectious grins.
I’m so nervous about this meeting, I think I might puke. I don’t want to play music, not to wake Jax, and I hum under my breath some tune I don’t even recognize. I think it might be from the movie Tyler brought me the other night.
It’s going to be fine. Tyler won’t run. Tessa’s right. I should have more faith in him now that I know why he left the first time.
By the time I roll into Madison, it’s almost ten, and I panic, thinking Damage will close before I get there. I really would like to have Zane around when Tyler sees Jax. Zane’s the most practical person I know, and he’s my friend. He can be a shoulder to cry on if it all goes south.
Yeah, I guess no matter how much faith I have in Tyler, you never know how one will react at the news—and presence—of a three-year-old son.
Doubt assails me again. Is this the mother of all stupid ideas? Should I have prepared Tyler first? Why the heck did I think that springing this on him would be best?
Oh God, why doesn’t real life have an ‘undo’ button like my computer? Reset to default settings. Turn back time.
But if I did, I wouldn’t have Jax. Tyler wouldn’t have returned to me.
Keep moving forward. It’s the only way.
I park outside Damage and breathe a sigh of relief when I see the lights are still on. Unbuckling my belt, I step out and go get Jax from the back seat. I unfasten the harness and pull him out, settling him on my hip.