Have to love the irony of it.
A town flickers in the distance, and I head that way. It’s Rockford. I’ve been there a couple of times in the past. I can’t remember much, but there must be bars. Every town has bars. My luck can’t be that bad.
I roll through the streets, cross a bridge over the Rock River, and weave through the town until I find an open bar and park outside. I store my helmet in the tail case, pull my leather gloves off and march inside.
A tall female bartender with an impressive rack wanders over when I plant my ass on a stool and my hands on the bar. I ask for tequila. She pours me a shot, and I grab the bottle.
“Leave it,” I say.
She frowns and opens her mouth, probably to tell me to get lost, but then sighs and walks away.
I down the first shot of what promises to be a really fucking long night. I pour myself another. “To Jax,” I mutter and raise my glass in mock salute. “May you and Erin be happy together.”
Fuck, it hurts. It’s like there’s a goddamn knife stuck in my chest. I refill my glass and close my eyes as I down it.
Erin’s face flashes before me—her eyes bright, her smile wide, her gorgeous body naked and—
Who needs a glass? I gulp tequila from the bottle, feel it burn a path through my chest, through the echoing emptiness there.
I put the bottle down and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. Fastest record of turni
ng from the best day of my life to the worst. A new high.
She said she loves me. And that makes it more difficult to bear. Why did she lead me on when she has someone else? Why did she sleep with me, kiss me, hug me, give me a glimpse of what I could have? It was so much easier when I had no hope and barely any memory of what real happiness felt like.
I want to stay angry at her, but I can’t. Propping my elbows on the bar, I grab fistfuls of my hair and tug. I can’t regret a single moment with her. I can’t blame her for choosing to be with someone normal. Someone who hasn’t left and hurt her.
I came back to Madison for Asher. And Asher is still there. I promised him I’d not leave again, and here I am, running.
Hell.
I push back and glance around me, at the half-empty bar. I’m supposed to be at Damage Control, working. Making sure Ash is fine. Trying to put myself back together.
Giving Erin the gift I bought her four years ago, the one I never got a chance to tell her about. It’s hers anyway, no matter what she does with it—or with me.
I love her, no matter what she decides to do. I want to see her, hear from her mouth she wants to be with another—and I’ll leave her be. I want her to be happy, even if it rips my heart out.
Throwing some money on the bar, I take my leave and turn my bike back the way I came.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Erin
The two-hour drive flies by. The whole way my mind is elsewhere—on Tyler and his reaction when he sees Jax.
I hope Dad has told Mom what I’m planning on doing. She’s resting in bed when I arrive, but her color is good, and she opens her arms for me.
I sit by her side on the bed and hug her. “Glad to see you looking better.”
“I am. You should stay the weekend. Rest, too. Eat with us.”
Mom is convinced that food outside her house has no nutrients in it. “Another time, Mami. I want Jax to meet my friends.”
“Why so suddenly?” Her dark eyes glow with mischief. “Is there someone in particular you want Jax to meet?”
Dad is looking at me from the door, and I smile at him, hoping he can rescue me. I can’t lie to Mom. She sees right through me.
Fortunately, he steps inside and clears his throat. “I think letting Jax have a few days with his mama is a good idea. And before you say it,” he raises his hands when Mom starts complaining, “it’s only a weekend, and the doctor said you should rest. I’ll take good care of you, Mami. Don’t you want to spend a weekend alone with your amazing husband, hmm?”