She turned back to Grandpa Samuel.
"If you keep blowing on that same spoonful, Samuel, it will turn to ice. Eat it already."
"What's that? Oh, yes. I have time today. I have time," he muttered.
"I don't know why I bother," Grandma Olivia said. "He'll soon be in the room next to my sister. You'll see."
"Maybe with time--" I said.
"With time he'll grow worse. There's no sense wasting tears over it. What are your plans for today? Do you have everything you need for the start of school? I believe that's next week if I'm not
mistaken."
"Yes, it is. I've got everything I need. I was hoping to go visit Cary and Aunt Sara and May," I said.
"That pathetic woman. All she does, day and night, is cry. Her eyes are so bloodshot, it's a wonder she can still see out of them."
"I'm sure it's been very hard for all of them," I said, remembering how awful I felt after my stepdaddy Chester died.
"Jacob had a good insurance policy. There's adequate money for the way they live, and I made sure they had a little more. They won't starve or go without necessities," she said tersely.
"I'm talking about more than money," I said, amazed that she showed no emotion when she talked about the death of her son.
She laughed as if I had said something hilarious. "Yes, when you find out what that is, let me know." "I already know. It's love, concern, friendship . . ."
"No one loves anyone more than he or she loves him or herself. You'll discover that."
"I hope not," I said.
"You already have," she replied. "What could be more intense than a mother's love for her own child? And yet, your mother loves herself more. Don't think romantic love is any different. Men and women crave each other, pledge all sorts of things to each other when they're young and in love, and then, time goes by and they begin to grow apart. Their own interests become most important again. Before you know it," she said gazing at Grandpa Samuel, who was blowing on another spoonful of oatmeal, "thirtyfive years have gone by and you hardly know the man who shares your bed. And if he doesn't end up calling you by some other name, you're fortunate.
"Don't place too much faith in romantic love, Melody."
"What do you believe in, Grandma Olivia?"
"I told you, family, name, reputation, selfrespect." She dabbed her lips with her napkin and rose. "For today and only today, I'll permit Raymond to cart you over to Sara's before he takes Samuel to the ear doctor, but I don't intend to have him do that every time you get it into your head to go there.
"Samuel," she snapped. "Do you intend to play with your food all morning?"
"What? Oh? Is it time to go?"
"It was time to go a long time ago," she said wistfully. The sadness in her voice caught my ear and I stared at her for a moment. She quickly realized I was looking at her and rose from the table. "Finish your breakfast, Melody. I'll have Raymond wait for you in the drive."
As soon as I had finished breakfast, I joined Grandpa Samuel in the car. When Raymond brought me to Aunt Sara's, I expected Cary would have already left to go on the lobster boat, but when I got out of the car and knocked on the door, it was he who opened it and gazed out at me, his eyes first full of surprise and then, full of joy.
"Melody! You're back!"
"Hello, Cary," I said smiling.
He started toward me to embrace me and then saw Grandma Olivia's car pulling away.
"What was Raymond doing here? Where are you suitcases? How long have you been back in Provincetown?" he asked, rapidly firing his questions at me.
"I got in yesterday, but I was so tired from the trip that I fell asleep as soon as I put my head on the pillow and slept into the night," I said.
"Slept? Slept where? You went to Grandma Olivia's house first? Why?"
"Where are Aunt Sara and May?" I asked instead of replying.