"I don't want to hear any more about her wild ways," I said. "Every man I've spoken to who has known her talks about her as if she waved a magic wand over them, hypnotized them."
"That's not far from the truth."
"So you don't bear any blame, is that it?" I fired back at him. "It was all her fault. She seduced you and since she seduced you, you felt no obligations?" Tears burned my eyes and my heart thumped like a tiny hammer under my chest.
"No, I'm not going to say that, although I did rationalize it that way for a long, long time," he replied calmly. "I let her blame someone else and cause problems for the Logan family. It was an easy way out for me and I took it."
"Why did she do that?" I asked. "Why didn't she just expose you?"
"I pleaded with her not to, but I think she had other reasons for doing what she did. She didn't do it for me. It had more to do with her relationship with Olivia Logan and the rest of that family. In short, I lucked out and left it that way.
"I don't think you want to know the gritty details," he continued. "Suffice it to say we had a few passionate rendezvous and, well, the rest you know."
"Yes, the rest I know," I said, reaching for the door handle.
"Wait. I didn't just come to see you to tell you all that. I'd like to do something for you," he blurted.
"Oh? Like what?"
"I don't know. Isn't there something you need? Something I can buy you?"
"Buy me a real mother and father," I said. "Buy me a real family with people who love and care about each other."
He shook his head.
"I'm sorry. It wouldn't do anyone any good, least of all the Logans, if I stepped forward and confessed, would it?"
Your confession has to be made to a higher authority." I paused after opening the door and turned back. "There is one thing you can do for me."
"Name it," he said quickly.
"Keep Adam away from me," I said.
"Done. And Melody, I really am sorry," he said.
Just as I stepped out of the car, Raymond appeared with the limousine. I hurried across the street and got in without looking back until we had turned around and were heading back to Grandma Olivia's.
My father was still there, parked, staring ahead at the darkness of his own making.
It took me forever to fall asleep that night. I tossed and turned, my mind fuzzy, full of mists that rolled like the fog. How pathetic my real father had sounded to me. Well all his explanations, his promises and good intentions wouldn't- keep the ocean from washing over the deceit. Let it all be swept out to sea where it belongs, I thought. Let me be free of a past that wanted to chain me to despair.
I was exhausted the next day and moved through my classes like a zombie. Theresa kept asking me if I was all right. She thought my mood might have something to do with Cary, because she, herself, had just broken up with her boyfriend. I kept telling her it was nothing like that, but she refused to believe me.
"When you're ready to talk, call me," she said, actually a bit put off.
I had the feeling I was caught in between those webs of confusion that prevented you from doing or saying anything right. It was better to just retreat into a cocoon of silence and wait for it to pass.
When I saw Cary that afternoon, he read my face as quickly as plans for a new yacht.
"More trouble with Grandma Olivia?" he guessed.
"No. We circle each other from a safe distance these days, like two wolves in silent agreement as to each other's territory."
He laughed.
"So?"
I pondered a moment. I had come out with him to Kenneth's dock to keep him company while he completed the finishing touches on the cabin. It was really a magnificent boat and as comfortable inside as he had predicted. He turned from the wiring he was doing on the stove and gazed at me with those green eyes fully focused.