That surprised me. She, admitting she was like me?
"You will find it a disadvantage, this need to always be pleasant and do what Sara idiotically preaches: 'don't say anything about anyone if you can't say something nice,' " she recited, wagging her head in mimicry. "Isn't that what she always parrots?"
"She's a very kindhearted, considerate person who thinks the sun rises and falls on your wishes," I said. "And if she knew how you felt about her, she would feel just terrible."
"She's merely afraid of me," Grandma Olivia said with a wave of her hand. "She has about as much love for me as you do, but I don't mind. If you spend your time worrying about who loves you and who doesn't, you'll end up--end up like Belinda," she concluded.
"Why didn't you tell me the truth?" I demanded.
"It wasn't my truth to tell," she said with a pained sigh. "And it's not something I care to remember." The sadness dropped from her face and was quickly replaced with that habitual take-charge look. "Besides, what good does that do now? Belinda is in a rest home. Your mother is dead. Your real father remains a mystery. You have only what I can give you. Nelson may have confessed to his youthful sins, but believe me, he has nothing more to give you than agony. He's wasting away in that house, living alone, his other children content to be far away, his son Kenneth unforgiving."
"Kenneth told me everything he knows. He's my uncle. I have that now," I retorted.
She snickered.
"Relatives. If you ask me, they're just additional burdens. You inherit their weaknesses and problems on top of your own. If you have a relative who committed a crime, people treat you as if you committed the crime. You're tainted. Overcoming the burden of my sister has been a lifelong endeavor for me," she said. "I've done well and I'm not about to countenance any setbacks," she added, leaning forward to focus her steely eyes on me.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that I called you here tonight after speaking with Nelson and hearing him slobber like a baby over the phone, because I wanted to be certain, absolutely certain that what he told you goes nowhere else. I'm too old to do battle with a new scandal. He was a fool to break down and tell you."
"I had a right to know. It's my life, too," I protested. "Now, I know that Kenneth Childs is my uncle," I continued. "He's asked me to move in with him and permit him to become my guardian."
She recoiled as if stung by a bee.
"What? Absolutely not. Why, that would be as good as standing on the street corner and announcing it all. Is he mad?"
"He was in love with my mother," I said. "You know when he learned about his father and my grandmother, that ended their hope of becoming man and wife. He wants to do this for me."
"I will not permit it," she insisted. She reached for a small bell on the side table and rang it. Loretta appeared as if she had been dangling above the doorway. "Call Kenneth Childs for me," she ordered. "He doesn't have a telephone," I reminded her.
"Send Raymond to his house immediately and tell him I want to see him tonight."
"Stop!" I shouted. Her eyes widened into two small balls of fire as her shoulders lifted. "He's in the middle of something very important. He can't be disturbed."
The fierce anger that sprang to Grandma Olivia's face shocked me, and Loretta just stood in the doorway, afraid to move a muscle.
"That will be all for now, Loretta."
"Should I send Mr. Raymond for Mr. Kenneth?"
"No, not at the moment," Grandma Olivia said. She sat back after Loretta left, and we contemplated each other warily. She nodded slightly, as if reaching a conclusion.
"You don't like living with my son. I imagine he's going to be especially difficult now that he'll be home so much," she added as an afterthought.
"That's not the only reason I want to move out and live with my uncle," I said.
"Nevertheless." She stiffened in her chair like a monarch. Then she leaned toward me again, stabbing me with her hard, penetrating glare.
"You will move in here," she declared, "and live with Samuel and me for your remaining year of public school. Then you will attend one of the finer colleges and pursue whatever interests you.'
"What?" My jaw hung open.
"Naturally, I will expect the most exemplary sort of behavior. I will, in return, provide you with all of your needs, a fine wardrobe, one that reflects what a granddaughter of mine should wear, and Raymond and the car will be available to take you wherever you have to go. We will tell the world that you didn't want to be an added burden to Jacob and Sarah at this time, with Jacob so sick and all. Actually, that's not far from the truth. I imagine you and Jacob don't see eye to eye and your continued presence won't help his recovery."
"You expect me to move in here with you?" I asked, still astounded at the suggestion.
"It's a much better solution. Kenneth will approve of it as well, I assure you," she said with sickening confidence.