"Yes. What's that mean?" she asked.
"They just haven't been to enough other places to get a wider point of view," I said. She liked that.
"You are smart. Good. And you're right, too. Archie's always saying the same thing. He hates this town as much as I do. And you do," she added.
"I don't hate it, Mommy."
"Of course you hate it. What's here for you?" She gulped her cocktail and then went to the phone to call Archie and tell him what had happened.
I didn't realize how serious the incident at the beauty salon had been until days later when I came home early from school and found Mommy lying on the sofa watching a soap opera. She had obviously not even gotten dressed that day. I didn't even have to ask. She saw the look on my face and told me before I could utter a question.
"I'm not working for Francine anymore," she said. "What! Why?"
"We had an argument. After all these years, you'd think she would be more loyal to me. I broke my back for her, did her all sorts of favors. The ingrate. That's what she is. That's what they all are."
"What are you going to do?"
"I'm not thinking about it right now. I'm too angry," she said, pouting. "What are we going to have for dinner?"
"There's the chicken from yesterday to warm up and I can make some potatoes and some green beans."
She smirked.
"If that's all we have, I guess that's what it will be," she said and closed her eyes.
My hands shook as I prepared our dinner. What would we do now? Who was going to give Mommy a job? What sort of a job could she manage? There was only one beauty salon in Sewell. Maybe, what I had told Alice would come true: I would have to quit school and find a job myself.
Daddy hadn't had enough life insurance and what we were getting from social security wasn't enough. Besides, Mommy had spent a lot of that money on new clothes.
But she didn't appear worried. After I had the meal prepared, she changed her mind about not liking it. She ate and drank and talked a blue streak about this new outfit she was getting, with matching shoes. After dinner, she went to her bedroom while I cleaned up, and she suddenly appeared in a new skirt and blouse with new earrings. She modeled it all for me and I had to admit, she looked beautiful. Maybe she could become a professional model, I thought, and made the mistake of saying so. Unfortunately, it started her on one of her favorite rampages.
"That's what I should have been. Only I didn't have the right advice or someone who was
sophisticated enough to take me to the right places. And what did I know? You have to have someone who has been places, who knows things and will help you, who will guide you. That's why the choice of a man to marry and love is so important. You can't just let your heart tell you what to do. But it still might not be too late for me," she added, happily gazing in the mirror.
The possibility cheered her.
"I just have to go to the right places and see the right people," she told me. She clapped her hands together and nodded. "Yes, that's what I have to do." Her face beamed. She rushed back to her bedroom as if the right person were waiting there.
I felt my heart flutter. A feather of fear tickled the inside of my chest. It was one thing to dream and to wish for things once in a while. Daddy had taught me to hope for things and look forward to another tomorrow, but it was different if you lived in a world of wishes and never saw the reality of today and never cared about responsibilities. Mommy was getting more and more like that.
After I did the dishes, I went to do my homework. A short time later, I heard a knock on my door and Mammy peeked in, still dressed in her new skirt and blouse.
"I'm going
to town," she said. "Leave the door unlocked."
A car horn honked and she was off. I didn't need to take two guesses whom she was with.
What will become of us? I wondered.
Two days later, I got my answer. It was more shocking than anything I expected.
3
Sad, Beautiful Dreamer
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