“Yes. You’re... Last night was... I had no idea it could be like that.”
“So, you want to do it again?”
“Yeaahh...”
“But?”
“Is it the best choice, knowing our partnership’s going to end soon?”
He couldn’t answer that.
For either of them.
Chapter Nineteen
On and off all day, ever since Detective Bentley’s call, Tabitha had been fighting panic. The kind she’d felt right after her mother had been killed and she’d known she was all alone in the world and had no idea how she’d survive.
And again the day Jackson was kidnapped.
Could it be possible that she’d found her son and still had no way to get him back?
And yet, anytime she came close to the point of needing to lie down in a corner in the fetal position until her strength came back, she’d turn to Johnny and she’d find her power.
Which brought its own kind of worry. She knew she’d be fine when he was gone. Just as she’d survived the loss of the two people she’d loved most in the world.
She’d go to work, distract herself from her own pain by focusing on little ones who were feeling a pain she could hardly imagine. The children at work gave her more strength than they’d ever know. Helping them helped her.
But they weren’t on the Jackson quest. Work wasn’t part of that. Only Johnny was.
She’d asked him if it was wrong to spend a second night in each other’s arms when they both knew their current relationship was going to end.
He hadn’t answered.
“What if I’m using you, Johnny, just not for your money?”
“What on earth does that mean? Using me how? You said you were turned on and so was I. It was mutual.”
“I was turned on!” Boy, was she. More than she’d ever figured. “I still am!” Who would think, after the night she’d shared with Johnny, that she’d be more turned on than she’d been in her life? That she needed him more tonight than she had the night before?
“So?” He shrugged. While she was glad of the darkness at the beach and the lack of other walkers that late at night in September, she wished she could see his face.
Wished she knew where she was going with this whole conversation.
“Being with you makes me feel...more capable of handling the challenges I’m facing,” she said slowly, thinking about every word to make certain she was getting them completely right. “When I touch you, it brings good feelings. So when the bad feelings start to overwhelm me, I touch you and get a moment’s relief. But I know it’s only while we’re going through this time together. I mean, I know I’ll face my future challenges without leaning on you.”
He stopped walking. Turned her to face him. The light of the moon left a white streak on one side of his face. The other was in complete darkness.
“What are you trying to say? Because I have to tell you, I’m not getting it.”
She wasn’t sure she was, either. She just needed him to know that when the partnership ended, it ended. Needed him to know she understood that.
“I want to make sure you’re okay with my leaning on you for now.”
“Isn’t that what our partnership is all about?”
That was true, of course. So she kissed him.
It was the only answer she had.