Me.
I need to change.
What do I want?
I don’t know.
I’ve spent my entire life being told what to do by my parents, my mother, my coaches and teachers—I finally feel like I’m at the point where it’s time for me to decide what I want. And it’s only taken me twenty-one years to realize it.
“I think it’s wonderful that you want to take some time for yourself, Lilly. It’s time for a little bit of self-love. And you can start by eating some of these chocolate-dipped strawberries.” She pushes the little plate toward me and I nick a berry from it, sinking my teeth into it with a scrumptious moan.
“Darn this is good—where did you get these?”
“I made them this morning. It was really easy, all I did was get some meltable chocolate at the grocery store and voila.”
I steal another one. “How come you never cooked or put out food like this when we lived together? Maybe Kaylee wouldn’t have asked you to leave. Ha.”
“Oh, you’re a comedian now? Lilly has jokes?” Eliza rolls her eyes and pulls the plate away from me. “No more for you.”
“Oh come on, I’m just kidding! Besides, you know Kaylee would have asked you to leave no matter what—she’s such a brat and you didn’t deserve the way she treated you. Like I said, I had no idea she was behaving that way or that she’d asked you to move out because you were dating Jack, and if I had…I would have done something. I wouldn’t have let her treat you like shit.”
“I know she’s a brat,” she says. “I also know she was just jealous. That’s human nature.” Eliza shrugs her shoulders inside her gray sweatshirt. “What are you going to do about it, right?”
“Um, call her out on her bullshit—that’s what you can do about it.” I pause to chew so I’m not speaking with my mouth full. Swallow. “She’s not completely horrible these days, but she’s not completely pleasant either. We’re getting by, but…things just aren’t the same. The house isn’t the same since you moved out. I miss you.”
“You always were my favorite of the two.” Eliza laughs.
“Duh, obviously.”
“Also, Kyle can suck your dick. You were way too good for him. You know that, right?”
I mean—Kyle was the running back on the football team and a visible guy on campus so I’m sure plenty of people would beg to differ with her assessment, but those people also don’t know the real Kyle.
Still, I can use a bit of fluffing these days, and I’ll take any ego boosting I can get.
“I’m not kidding, Lill. You’re too kind-hearted for a guy like that. You’re kind and sweet and good.” Eliza stands and comes around the counter to give me a side hug, squeezing my shoulders and kissing me on the cheek. “I love you, friend. You’re one of the best people I know.”
Just then—and before I can reply—a guy walks into the kitchen carrying a cardboard box, tall and broad with hair just long enough to pull back into a short ponytail.
Dirty blonde.
Looks kind of like a surfer at the beach, if you don’t count the fact that he has no tan.
He pauses—halting when he sees us sitting at the counter with Eliza’s arms wrapped around me. I’m sure it looks as if he’s interrupting something intimate, an emotional and heartfelt moment between friends.
“Sorry, I…” He stammers, glancing around the room as if searching for a place to flee. Locates the nearest exit. “Jack said I can store some of my things in the garage?”
My friend releases me with another gentle squeeze before rising to her full height. “Oh sure. Here, let me get the door for you—that looks heavy.”
I watch as my former roommate goes to the side door and opens it for her new roommate, feeling a little regretful about the way things went down with her moving out. Though we are still friends, I have a lot of remorse about the way I allowed Kaylee to treat her. I know I cannot control how people behave, but I could have intervened.
There’s no way of knowing whether or not Eliza would have stayed with us or gone, but she would have at least known I was on her side from the beginning.
The new guy disappears outside, returning a few minutes later with a new box, this one with the word FRAGILE neatly scrawled in black marker across each of its four sides.
I study him and his eyes glance around the room.
He has an oddly familiar vibe.
Have we met before?
Hmm…
I try not to stare, and he actively avoids looking at me altogether as Eliza, standing near my chair, watches us both. Brows raised but otherwise not commenting on the weird behavior.
He wants to say something—probably to Eliza—but seems to feel self-conscious with me here, and I can tell he’s on the shy side. Definitely not an extrovert.