She’s obviously not the only one nervous because Mom says, “Daniel, please pour a glass of wine for me.”
“Which one?”
“Any, it seems as if I’m going to need it.” Mom smiles at me.
She’s trying to tell me that tonight’s going to be awkward and as Daniel comes back with the bottle. I think to myself that Mom hasn’t got a clue how weird it’s going to be, she’s going to need more than one glass by the time that this night is through. I hope that Jennifer has another bottle stashed somewhere because I’m going to need more than one glass too.
***
As the silent meal comes to an end, we tried small talk, but Jennifer’s strange behavior caught everyone’s attention including Daniel. I think he got fed up of asking her if she was okay because every time he did, she would reach for the wine or make an excuse to leave the table.
“Mom, Daniel we have something to tell you,” I say as I clear my throat.
Jennifer waves at me, the second time during the night that she’s looked at me. So, far she’s been looking at the space near me or even one time my feet.
“Not now, Jason. We haven’t had dessert.”
I shake my head. “I don’t think anyone wants dessert right now.”
Mom agrees, “That lasagna was delicious, but I thought that you were inviting more people. It was just too much for us four. It was as if you were trying to feed the five thousand.”
Only Mom and Daniel’s laughing, he’s about to say something, but I decided just to spit it out. The tension in the room is giving me a fucking headache.
“Jennifer and I are a couple. We’ve been seeing each other, and we wanted you both to hear it from us.”
I look at Mom and Daniel who once again starts laughing they think that it’s a joke, but Jennifer’s not laughing as a tear wells in her eye.
She whispers, “It’s true.”
Mom stands up and shouts, “You’ve been fucking my son! The younger man that you talked about. The one that makes you feel young again. My little boy?”
I want to say something, but I know that she’s not to be messed with when she’s in the mood. Jennifer nods and then Daniel just jerks his chair and leaves the room. I’m confused whether to talk to my mom or Daniel right now.
Jennifer starts crying uncontrollably, but then mom gets up and slaps her so fucking hard and shouts, “Now you’ve got something to cry about.”
She doesn’t even look at me; she just leaves the room. The only sound in the room as the door slams shut is the whimpering of Jennifer and my heart which feels as if it’s going to come out of my chest. Because for the first time since I’ve been seeing Jennifer, I don’t know if we are going to make it past the summer. The meal went bad, but then again I never expected them to welcome us with open arms. I can tell by the way that Jennifer’s crying, she didn’t know what to expect and now it’s happened I don’t know whether to go home or comfort Jennifer. So, I sit. I wait. For what? I don’t have a fucking clue, but it feels as if it’s the best thing to do right now.
Jennifer
I need to pull myself together, so I tell Jason to leave. He doesn’t protest or complain about it. He simply stands up and leaves the house quietly. This is the reason that we never told them. I never expected it to go well. I thought about it, if it was the other way around, if Carla had told me that she was seeing Daniel how would I take it?
I knew that I wouldn’t take it well. A barrier of trust has been broken and it started the moment I fucked Jason by the pool side and after that we both got carried away. Do I regret it? No. I just wish that we had been honest earlier on. I know one thing for sure, Jason’s made me confront my fears. He’s brought out the best in me and I’m not going to feel guilty about it. Not one little bit.
I start to head up the stairs and do something that I should have done a long time ago. I’m going to talk to my son. Not just about Jason, but about everything. It’ll start with how his dad died and the marriage. The one that we’ve never spoken about until now.
As I knock on his door, I call out, “Daniel?”
He doesn’t respond, I’m no longer crying. I don’t feel weak as I did when I told both Daniel and Carla. I feel stronger than I’ve ever felt in a long time.
“Daniel!”
Again, nothing so I attempt to open his door. It’s locked. Something Tom said was important for our privacy. I never wanted any of the rooms in the house locked. He was the one that insisted that every room should be locked after I’d caught him watching porn. I knew the reason behind it, but like everything in the house I said nothing about it. I just complied, I’d been doing it for so many years that it was almost robotic.
“I know that you hate me. But I need you to understand this. I need you to understand us!”
I’m talking to a door, but I don’t care. Daniel can hear me on the other side of the door and that’s all that matters.
“Your dad and I never had a marriage. We had sex once. Once in eighteen years and that was how you were conceived. You must have seen that we weren’t like other couples. Your dad never attempted to kiss me. Touch me. We even slept in separate rooms.”