“Oh, Bennet.” I cuddle closer to him. “I’m so sorry that happened.”
I wish there was more I could say, some way for me to make this tolerable for him. But all I can think to do is wrap my arms around him tighter and press myself against him.
“It was a long time ago,” he says. “But thank you, really. It means a lot. I never talk about this, not even with Rick. He knows about it because I did tell him, once, when we first joined the SEALs. But other than that, I keep it to myself.”
“Thank you for telling me,” I say softly. “I know it must’ve been hard.”
“It is. But you deserve to know.”
We look out at the water together, the silver moonlight bouncing off the surface, the same as the shade in his hair.
“What happened… you know, to the men?” I ask, curiosity getting the better of me.
“They were caught a few days later. Two were killed in jail and the other is serving three life sentences.”
“At least…”
I stop myself. I was about to say, at least that’s something. But then I think about my mom and dad and how nothing would ever make that better. My writer’s imagination spirals and I begin to envision what Bennet saw, trapped in that closet, what he heard, what he smelled, even.
“I’m just so sorry,” I whisper, burying my face against his jacket.
Guilt grips me as I begin to cry, gripping onto his back with my fingers, digging into the sturdy mass of his body.
“I’m sorry. I’m making it all about myself.”
“Hush,” he says quietly as he strokes his fingers through my hair. “It’s nice, Rory.”
I laugh through a sob, leaning back to look up at him. “Nice?”
“Yeah. That you care so much. That you’re so moved.”
“Of course I care,” I almost yell. “You’re… you mean a lot to me, Bennet. And no kid deserves to go through that.”
I quickly add the last part, not wanting him to read too much into my words. Which is a joke. I can’t keep the depth of my feelings hidden forever.
“Come on, Rory.” He takes my hand, turning for the forest. “Let’s get back to the cabin.”
My stomach knots. Does he mean for that?
I will myself to tell him, to blurt it out, to get it over with so things aren’t made awkward later.
But I can’t. I don’t want to ruin what we’re sharing.
Or maybe I’m just too freaking scared.
Chapter Fourteen
Bennet
“Do you want to see the inside?” I ask as we approach the cabin together.
It’s strange, but I feel so much lighter after telling Rory about my childhood. I’ve heard that phrase so many times. A weight has been lifted. But this is the first time I’ve actually felt it, as though sharing the pain of the past with her has helped to halve it, to take some of it away.
She looks up at me, hair messy from where the breeze blew through it, a twig clinging to the wavy tresses. “What?” she giggles.
I grin, reaching down and picking off the twig, and then toss it to the ground.
She smiles adorably. “Oh.”
“So, yes or no?” I ask again, impatient to get her inside.
I’m keeping my tone civil before she gives me her answer. If she tells me she doesn’t want to see the inside of the cabin, that’s a clear sign she isn’t ready to take things further this evening.
In that case, I’ll have to swallow the fierce fire flickering inside of me, stoked by the closeness we’ve just shared.
It's like fusing emotionally has made me want to fuse physically. And that in itself proves that my need for her goes beyond reason, goes beyond regular desire.
I’m thinking about emotions. It’s a goddamn miracle.
“I do,” she murmurs.
I press my hand against the small of her back, opening the door with my other hand. The heavy oak swings inward to a cozy warm living room, soft lights glowing from the ceiling, over the fur-covered couch and the heavy rugs and the general homeliness.
Straight ahead there’s a short hallway that leads to the bedroom and the bathroom, and the kitchen is off to the side, adjoined to the living area.
“Good enough for you, madam?” I bow, smirking at my woman as I lightly tease her.
“It’s lovely,” she says, looking around the room. “Just a little cold…”
“Ah, of course.” I hurry forward to the control panel on the wall, adjusting the thermostat. “It’ll warm up soon enough. In the meantime…”
I can’t fight it anymore. I can’t even try.
I need to feel her, to taste her.
I turn to her with a smirk. “Sometimes I forget how badly other people feel the cold.”
She looks so cute as she stands across from me, wringing her hands in front of her, as though she’s unsure about where this is going.
But there’s only one place this can go.